My Mother is still holding her own. Every morning I say to myself, "Is today the day of her departure?" And yet, "the call" does not come. She's a fighter, that gal.
I got a call earlier this week from an old neighbor in Albuquerque. She wanted to know how husband was doing. I told her. She said, "He was supposed to die a year ago."
First of all, this neighbor is not my cup of tea, however, I thought it was nice of her to call and ask about husband.
It didn't really hit me until yesterday. Suddenly, I got mad. And then I started thinking.
Do people really think this is all a bunch of malarkey? Do people honestly think I'm making this all up? For what purpose? Money? From who? Publicity? Sympathy?
After husband was diagnosed, I read somewhere that once a person is diagnosed with his rare type of Alzheimer's, it's about 3-5 years. We are on year 4.
Dr A told me last June he gave husband 6-9 more months. We are on month 9.
All I know is, my husband is dying.
We have good days. He will be in the here and now state. Suddenly, like last night, he will ask me what our dog's name is. I will tell him. He will look surprised.
Husband cannot walk, talk right, see right, bathe himself, shave, brush his teeth, roll over in bed, dress himself, use a fork or spoon right, hold his head in a normal position, use a remote for his TV, control his bodily functions, dress himself, and, last, but, not least, retain anything.
So, you ask. How much longer? How come he is still alive? When is he really going to die?
I. Don't. Know.
Only God knows his Date of Departure.
Some people don't get it. My best friends' husband has serious health issues. For 20 years she has said he could die any day. It's true. But even there own adult children don't get it. I feel so bad for you. He has held on for so long. You just wonder how. But God has a an for all of us. You deserve your own star in heaven. I don't know how you do this day after day. Hugs
ReplyDeleteIt's true that some people just don't or won't understand, or are just unaware that their verbal expressions are sometimes poorly worded. I have a friend whose husband lived with such poor lung function that I can't count how many times I heard he wasn't going to make it, and yet he lived for more than 10 years that way. I think factors like a person's will to live and the care they receive play a huge role in how long they fight, but as you said, it's ultimately God who chooses the date. Perhaps your old neighbor is simply amazed and lacks the ability to express it with gentleness or understanding. Either way, may the Lord continue to give you strength, comfort & peace to walk this journey day by day, without knowing when it will end. Thank you so much for giving us an update.
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