Well, I looked at the date of my last post and I must admit, I'm ashamed of myself for not posting sooner. It's been a very busy 6 or 7 weeks. Excuse the looks of this post. There is something wrong with my internet search engine, so, I have to use a search engine I am not familiar with. Bear with me as I try to get this post up. I flew to California on the 16th of May for my Mother's memorial service. My sisters went all out for her final goodbye. It was beautiful. So many people came. After landing Friday afternoon, we went out to dinner. I had a little meltdown at the restaurant, feeling so lost without husband and feeling guilty for leaving him. I have not been away from him in 4 years. Needless to say, he did fine with Kristen. I had 4 days to myself, and it felt strange. I flew home on Monday, the 19th. Husband is holding steady. We have moments where he is fine and other moments where he s not so fine. I hate this roller coaster. Husband's birthday was the 23rd. He turned 49. I never thought he would see this birthday. I was teasing him saying next year he was turning the big five O. He said he would not see his 50th birthday. Huh, I've been told that before, and take it with a grain of salt. I have gotten past the thoughts of when will it happen, when will he die. Now? I take each day as it comes and do not dwell on the fact that yes, he is very sick, but die? I hardly think about it anymore. I m taking husband down to Albuquerque next Thursday, he wants to see his Dad. It will be a quick trip, coming back home Saturday, but, it will be nice for husband to see his Dad. I am also looking into getting husband into an Adult Day Care program. It will do him good, and me too. I pray I will be able to find one..Well, being that I don't trust this site, I am going to sign off for now. I promise to update more often. I am so sorry for not posting like I used to. I just get so tired of this life with Alzheimer's. It makes everything seem so gray. Thank you, faithful readers for hanging in there with me.