Free!!

It's been way too long since my last post.  There's just not much more to say.

Alzheimer's has completely taken over now.  Husband knows me, but, for the most part, knows not much else.

His left eye is gone now.  Right eye is fading.  Legs are just about gone.  Has no control over his body, including wetting himself throughout the day.

I now buy daytime diapers as well as nighttime diapers.  Along with the nighttime diapers, I have to buy pads to put in the nighttime diapers to avoid leaking on his bed.  For the most part, it works.  Except husband is now in the stage where he takes his clothes off in the middle of the night, strips his bed, gets back into bed and wets.  Exasperating.

I scolded him the other morning about this and like a little boy, he hung his head, and started to cry.  Realizing I had been too hard on him, I apologized, but, told him he must try not to do this anymore.  his reply was, "But, I am sick."

Yes, I know.

He retains nothing.   He gets confused after eating breakfast.  Within the hour, he wants to know if we are going to eat today.  Once I remind him that he's had breakfast, he's fine.  For awhile.  Or, he will ask me if he's eaten that day. 

Eating is difficult for him.  He hunches over when attempting to eat.  I now have to place spoon or fork in his hand because he can't see the silverware.

I got approval for a nurse to come to the home.  I don't know when she will start.  Haven't heard.  Hopefully soon.

I also purchased a Cremation Package for husband.  Well, purchased by paying monthly to the Neptune Society.  It's a start.  Social Security told me a few years back that at the time of husband's death, they will pay me around $800 towards burial.  I have no idea when that will be paid out. 

I have decided to finish the book I started 2 1/2 years ago.  It's a work in progress.  It's painful and stressful as well.  To go back to happier days when all we had to worry about was working, raising a family and keeping our heads above water.  As I look back on our life way back then, the saying, "don't sweat the small stuff" comes to mind.  How simple that other life I had seems now!!

I am hoping to have the book completed by Spring.  I have no idea how to go about publishing.  Will cross that bridge when the time comes.

Good news.  I got my car fixed.  Jace fixed it for a fraction of the cost.  Makes me so mad that you take it to the dealership, rack up all kinds of "repairs" when in fact, those "repairs" were not needed.  In going through my car, he said it's a great running car, just needed a water pump, timing belt, two drive belts and a pulley for the timing belt.  So thankful for Jace.  What a great Son-in-Law!!!

I will try to update more often.  It's just getting harder as my life is consumed with Alzheimer's.

One day, I will be free of this awful disease.

And so will husband.