Random thoughts

At a loss for words this morning. Mind seems to have gone blank. Not much news like some of the other blogs I read. In those blogs, they are going shopping, taking vacations, visiting husband's at the office, taking babies for Dr appointments, taking themselves to Dr appointments to check on baby inside, making a special dinner for grandparents coming to visit and just general chit chat.

Well, I don't shop, do not take vacations, (well, I go see my mother in Calif once per year), husband does not work, have no babies to take to the Dr's, do not take myself to the Dr to check up on baby inside (thank God) nor do I make a special dinner for the Grandparents because the only one left is my mother and well, we all know she can't come for dinner. There is however, a grandfather, Leon's dad. And we don't want to go there with me.

My day starts early. I get up before the sun and relish in the quiet that is my house. The dog follows me but she does her own thing. I cherish this time because my day is dictated on what Leon's condition is. We can go anywhere with this disease. He can wake up and be fine or wake up and be mad or wake up and be completely lost. Then, I know how my day will be. And, it is all my fault. He can get so mad at what this disease has robbed him of and I am to blame for everything. I now just agree with him to make my day easier. It's just easier.

The dog knows something is wrong with him. She loves him, but I am her everything. She does not stay close to him and I know she knows he is not right. Dogs are like that. I call her my seeing eye dog because she walks by my side, day in, day out. Not outside, in the house, walking down the hallway, living room, kitchen and garage. When I go to the bathroom and open the door when done, there she is, my ever faithful Bessie. She looks at me with such love. She makes me feel good inside she is that devoted. She has OCD too. She stands and eats in the same spot every day, eats her Num Nums in the same spot, when we get up in the morning, she walks by my side then goes around the coffee table, then, to the doggie door and outside. Circles the backyard wall the same way, everyday. God knew what He was doing when He found her for us. She is my entertainment and makes me laugh everyday.