A Quiet Kind of Love

Yesterday, being our wedding anniversay and all, I was reliving our wedding, our life together. I had a very quiet morning, kept checking on Leon, his breathing. Even the dog kept checking on him, then coming out to me as if worried. She's so intuned to all that is happening too. I finally woke him up at 11 AM. After he was awake and more "with it", I told him, "happy anniversary!" And the smile he gave me broke my heart. It was so sad and sweet at the same time. That smile told me everything. He knows; he knows this will probably be his last "happy anniversary", and for the first time in all of this, the smile he gave me was one of, "I'm so sorry I can't do anything for you, for us anymore".

I made a special dinner for us and while I was cleaning up, the dog, Bessie, as usual, was hoping for the scraps. Leon and I were laughing at her when I said, "boy, she needs a bath". About 20 minutes later, I noticed it was so quiet and thought Leon & Bessie had gone to the bedroom. When I finished the dishes, I was going down the hall to the bedroom when I heard Leon talking in the front bathroom. The door was closed, so I opened it and there was Leon, soaking wet, giving our beast of a dog, a bath. Now, Bessie does not like her baths, and it takes alot of strength to actually lift her into the tub. She's a big dog. As I stood there with my mouth wide open, Leon looked up at me with the biggest grin. As if to say, "I did it, I did it". Of course, Bessie was looking at me like,
Mom, get me out of here". But it's like she knew this was our special day, she needed to behave. My heart just swelled. This is the same man who cannot even write his own name, let alone lift our beast of a dog into a bathtub, keep her in the tub and kneel all at the same time. But he did it.

For the rest of the night, that's all he talked about. You could tell he was so proud of himself for doing something. For a moment, I saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes, like maybe he's going to be OK afterall? kind of look. But we know that is not to be, he won't be OK.

Funny, yesterday I posted about how he loved to surprise me. I believe God gave him the strength to lift the beast, to wrestle her and to kneel, all for me, for my wedding anniversary gift.

To date, that beat out all of the other gifts I have ever gotten from him. I will cherish this anniversary until the day I die.