MY Weekend - How's Your's?

This morning started out good. I slept a little later. Felt good to get a little more sleep. Have been going to bed rather late, then, waking up early, around 5:30 or 6.

Like I say, the morning started out good. But, the whole time, I was holding my breath, because I know when the bomb is about to go off. And it did.

Just as sat down to get on my laptop, husband started in on his truck. The truck is at our friends shop, we had it towed 2 weeks ago. I told Sean that it would be a few months before I could afford to fix it, he was fine with that. Turns out it is not the transmission, it's the clutch. The cost will be over $400. I do not have that kind of money to "just fix it". And Sean being Sean, and, knowing our situation, understands, said it could sit there for as long as we needed it to.

Now, try to get your husband who has Dementia, cannot walk properly anymore, can't remember what day it is, can't retain ANYTHING anymore, to understand this and you have a disaster. He does not understand the concept of money anymore, thinks I have thousands of dollars in the bank (oh, I wish), thinks I'm holding back because I don't want him to drive anymore, (per Doctors orders, but, he's right there), and I come away shaking for the rest of the day.

I hate it. I only want the best for him, yes, but I do not have the extra money to fix this damn truck. Also, the Dr told him not to drive anymore, but he will not go by the Dr's orders. He takes his medicine, as prescribed, is on top of that, but, to not drive? No, he says he refuses to stop driving.

I realize it's a hard blow to him, but, I am at a loss as to what to do. When mornings like this happen, I want to just leave. Go somewhere quiet, no one to talk to and reflect on my situation. It may be wrong, but I want to get as far away from him as possible. Don't judge me folks, walk a mile in my shoes.

So, here I sit, shaking, trying to update, and husband "pouting" in the bedroom, forgetting that I cannot afford to fix his truck for a few months.

Nice start to the weekend. Great.