And so it begins.
Rough, rough night. Hallucinations, delusions and not knowing who I am.
By 3 AM, I got scared. Really scared.
Calling Dr A today. Being that it is Friday, Good Friday no less, I am going to get the Dr on stand by. Just in case I have to bring him into the ER.
It's really happening now. That final, awful, worst part of this disease only one could imagine. And if you can imagine it, times that by 100.
This is the part I've dreaded the most. The dying part? Walk in the park compared to this decline into the unknown world of Alzheimer's. This maddening disease, where your loved one goes mad. Loses all that is known to him.
I don't want to go through this. I don't want to watch him. I don't know if I have the strength to go to the depths of hell, only to have husband die. And, what's in it for me?
Widow. That's all I'll get out of this madness. I'll be labeled "Widow".
I am asking my God for strength today.
Pray for strength. Maybe it's time to let someone else care for him. That way you can rest and relax a little. You don't want his last days to be full of fear. (((((HUGS))))
ReplyDeleteOh no.
ReplyDeleteI remember you saying there may come a time when you would not be able to handle caring for your husband... has that time come? I cannot imagine it - but I can imagine feeling very frightened and helpless. If he were in a nursing facility there would at least be help at hand for him and for you. Also, medications if that is needed.
I have no answers of course... only considerations.
My heart goes out to you Sunney Sue.
Sincerely,
Becky
I'm so sorry! Both of you are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. I am praying for you and your husband.
ReplyDeleteLisa