OJT (On the Job Training)

Coming off of such a good and somewhat "normal" day on Sunday, I was not prepared for yesterday.

It was not a good day.

Husband woke up depressed. I tried to coax him out of it, giving little positive comments. Nothing worked. He finally went back to sleep for a few hours, leaving me to my thoughts.

While he was sleeping, Jack got home from school, so, I went to the pet store to get fish food for our fish. I told Jack I was leaving. When I got home, the house was locked up tighter than Fort Knox. The dogs were barking their heads off. I finally got in the house, husband was pacing in the foyer. He was very upset that I had left. Said he did not know where I had gone, so, he locked the house up. I told him where I had gone and explained that he was asleep, did not want to wake him up.

He was very confused as to how I got to the pet store. I told him I took the car. He thought Jack was still at school. Boy, what a mess.

I also stopped at Sonic to get him a coke. Handed him the coke. He asked me how I got to Sonic, did I walk? Once again, (sigh) I had to explain to him that Jack came home from school, so I took the car to get the fish food and surprise him with a coke. Mass confusion.

I asked Jack how come he did not check on his dad, he said he did, he was asleep, so, he went to his room and put his head phones on.

I was rattled the rest of the afternoon and evening. All I could think about was his state of mind when he woke up to find me gone. His thinking process is damaged now, so the thought of going to Jack's room to see if he was home would not enter his mind. All he knew was that I was gone. What was going through his poor mind? How scared he must have been. How helpless he must have felt.

I don't know what today will bring. Will he be in his own world? Will he be "with it?" I have to be honest, it's easier when he is in his own world, as he is oblivious to what is going on. When he is "with it", he is more aware of what's happening to him and, will have panic attacks.

I have learned another lesson. I don't have to spend thousands of dollars on college to learn what I'm learning now. There is no "school" or secondary education for what I've learned or am still learning from this nightmare. It's what I call On The Job Training.