Decided to take the weekend off and try to act "normal". Taking the weekend off from posting worked. The latter? Not so much.
Husband is still in the "stabilizing mode". Nice for us. Kinda like a lunch break before we go back at it. While these breaks are a reprieve from this disease, I am always braced for what is to come.
It's a false sense of security.
Husband tole me yesterday morning that he had been praying for his mother, the two uncles that died from this disease, as well as his grandfather. He did not know the uncles nor his grandfather, but wanted to pray for them anyway. He was very emotional when he was telling me this. I didn't ask him why he was praying for them. Sometimes I just need to shut up and let him do the talking.
Adamant about going to church. During the service, I looked at husband, and there he sat in his wheel chair, hands clasped together and his eyes closed. He looked so very peaceful. His face seemed to glow.
All in all, a nice weekend. A little relaxing as well. I liked it.
Of course, the monster is still there. It's always there. Lurking around. Doesn't hide. Makes it's presence known, sometimes a little more subtle, sometimes not so subtle.
So, I wait. Ready for the next round. Bracing myself. It could happen in the next hour, the next day, or, even the next month.
In this disease, you can't really relax during these cooling off periods. Because I know what the devastating effects will be. I hold my breath, knowing what's coming.
There will be no warning, no dark clouds approaching, no nothing. It hits like nothing you have ever experienced before.
For now, though, I take what I can get.
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