Survivor Mode

It's been a busy few days.  I had to make another decision.  Hasn't been easy, considering the work involved, but, after being sick and having time to really look at my finances, I made a decision to give up this house and move into a small 1 bedroom apartment.  Yes, we will be moving, again.

The thought of moving makes me want to cringe, but, it's in our best interest, not only easier for me to clean, but financially, well, it makes so much sense.  Kind of like, "well, slap me up side of my face", kind of sense. The amount of money saved will enable me to actually buy food and not have to scrimp in that department.

I found an apartment on the other side of the city.  Quite a commute, but, it's in the foothills, beautiful grounds, quiet community and close to shopping.  The grounds feature a huge pond with ducks, turtles and fish.  In the middle of this pond is a water feature.  My new living room window looks out on that pond and water feature along with a stunning mountain view.  Marie lives up in that area, so, she is thrilled we will be close.

We will be moving January 10th.  I have to give my notice here and I am not looking forward to that.  My landlord is a great guy, but, he knows my struggle.  I have never not paid my rent, but, he knows of husband's condition and is a really nice man.  Just hope he can be understanding.

The apartment is small, but the amount of closets and cupboards is good.  I am going to sell all my major appliances and buy two recliners for the living room.  Talk about downsizing.  If I do that, the move will consist of our bedroom stuff, two recliners, two TV's, our clothes, some pictures, dishes and misc items.  Done.

Last night, after husband fell asleep, I started doing the math.  Once I was done, I got excited.  I will actually be able to shop at Trader Joe's again.  Buy food as we need it, not like now, when I have the money.  I won't have a ton of money, but, it will be enough to survive.  Not like it is now.  I am so tired of being financially drowning in bills.  Not being able to buy a whole lot of food.  I have a constant stomach ache.  Stress.  No more.

So, after living here for only 9 months, here we go again.  Only this time I'm only moving 1/3 of the stuff I have.  Can you say, Garage Sale?  Hello.

I hate having to make all the decisions.  I don't have a husband that can offer me advice.  He just nods his head, agrees with whatever I say and closes his eyes.  It's all up to me.  I hate making these grown up decisions alone.  But, hey, someone has to do it.

Right now, all I'm concerned with is taking care of us.  I have no one to lean on.  It's all me.  I'm also in a new place in my life.

It's called, Survival Mode!!