The Final Countdown

So, I got my new charger today.  Yay.  After purchasing 2 wrong ones, (which the store clerks insisted would work) guess the 3rd time is the charm.  Oh, so nice to be able to use my laptop again.

I also changed up the look of the blog.  I felt it needed a face-lift.  This morning, while enjoying my espresso on the patio, I saw some geese flying south.  They looked so graceful, and then, looking for a new background, I found this one.  Looks like geese to me!!

Husband is not good.  In about 10 days, he has lapsed into an unknown territory known only to him.  I find him staring into space, often talking to either himself or someone(?) other than me. 

I put in a call to Dr F on Wednesday about the Home Health Care.  The nurse called me back a few hours later and said Dr F said it is too late for Home Health Care, that he needs Hospice.  He said he believes husband has about 6 months, give or take, and that Home Health Care is not a good fit.  The nurse forwarded this information to Hospice here in the Springs.

Hospice came this morning.  After assessing husband, she said that he is not ready for Hospice, close, but not just yet.  Said it could be a matter of a few weeks or up to a month.  Needless to say, I was not amused.  She said to contact the local Alzheimer's Association and see what they could offer us, for now.

When will people recognize that Alzheimer's is a Disease resulting in death??? Why does husband have to meet a certain "criteria" when he can't even remember where the bathroom is?

Don't get me started.

I woke up at 6:30 AM and heard a beeping sound.  At first I thought I was dreaming.  Then,  I heard it again.  Looked over at husband's bed and he was not in it.  I flew out of bed and ran into the living room.  There I found husband riding his scooter chair.  And of course, I asked that crazy question, "What are you doing?"

Husband told me he was riding a bus and that he needed to sit in his scooter chair.

But, he doesn't meet the "criteria" for Hospice.  Um, OK.

I have had peaks and valley's the last few weeks.  One minute, I'm good, the next, I find tears welling up in my eyes.  I want to laugh, I want to go outside and feel the beautiful autumn air on my face.  I want to look at the beauty of my surroundings with the changing of the leaves.  I want to feel safe and secure.  I want to be happy.  I want a "normal" husband.  I want to feel normal.  Not just play pretend.

6 months.  That's all.  6 lousy months. 

So, we enter the final countdown. 

God help me.