One Proud Mama

Jack was sworn in yesterday. He now belongs to the United States Air Force. His departure date is sometime in July, 2012. I was so proud of him as I stood and watched him be sworn in. He was the youngest, with the oldest being in his 30's. They all kind of looked at him like a little brother. One of the officers told me that during the long day of physicals, FBI and psychological tests, the other guys were amazed at Jack's maturity and confidence.

Jack's firt two choices of jobs are, Heavy Aircraft Mechanics, (to which he would be the chief, due to his high ASFAB score), or, Nuclear Weapons, top secret job. The 3rd on his list is Air Controlling. Whatever he decides, he will do a fine job. So proud of that boy, or, (ahem) Man.

Husband behaved quite well yesterday at Jack's Swearing in Ceremony. When we were going through the metal detector at MEPPS, the officer told him to put his wallet on the table, then go through the metal detector. Husband did not understand, picked his wallet back up, got out his ID, looked at the officer confused. I looked at the officer and saw his look of, "What are you doing?" I just very calmly said, "Honey, put your stuff down and just walk through." When we got into the main area, we had to be issued badges and sign in. As I was signing in for me, husband whispered, "You have to sign in for me, I don't know how."

Once we got home, husband seemed a little agitated. He is still miffed that I took control of his meds. I ignored him, I have to. He pouted the rest of the evening, didn't like what I made for dinner, but, ate it anyway. He was ignored, it's easier that way. If I continue to cater to him, he only gets worse. So, like I would with a child, I ignore the poutiness, and he quiets down.

This morning, he is still the same. He will be ignored again if he continues. I hate mornings like this, it almost always turns out to be a very trying day for me. Just, drains me. I will be busy with cleaning, washing bedding and hopefully catching a movie on TV. I need to relax. It seems like everytime I want to just sit and zone out in front of the TV with a good movie, he acts up. At least I know now how to handle the situation, but, he is work.

Here's to a good day. One that will end well, I hope. I have to go to the store and, to ease matters, I told him that "we" need to go to the store. He seemed to like that.

One day, this will all be gone, he will be gone. Will I look back and wish he were still here, having temper tantrums, pouting and stumbling everytime he attempts to walk? Will I miss him miserably? Will I be a basket case?

I don't think so. Of course I will miss him and be sad. But the man I knew as my husband is gone already. I miss the old husband. He was a good man. A hard working man. Because of this monster, eating away at his brain, I have been forced to live with a stranger. I have been forced to be mon & dad. I mourn the loss of my husband before he is physically gone.