Adult Diapers

Thanks for the comment about Jack and Thanksgiving.  I don't know what he's doing, but, he did tell me he would be home for two weeks at Christmas time.  That will be nice.

Father in law did pick up husband yesterday.  They had a good time.  When FIL dropped husband off, he took me aside and gave me some plastic bottles, one large, one medium.  He said to use one in the car and one to keep at his bedside.  Husband had a few accidents at his dad's house.  We talked about that, FIL asked me if he was having accidents at home.  I told him yes.  FIL hung his head and looked so sad.  He then said, "It's the beginning of the end."   My first instinct was to put my arms around him.  Instead, I patted him on the back and replied, "I know."

Husband watched all of this with no reaction at all.  I looked at him.  There he was, a total blank look at the both of us.  He was in his own world, not knowing what was being said.  FIL left, I started dinner.  I asked husband if he had a good time.  He said he couldn't remember.  Great.

Husband fell asleep early, but, when I went to bed, he was in the shower.  I noticed the bathroom rug was outside the door.  I picked it up and it was wet.  When he finally opened the door, I asked him what he was doing he said, "I had a dream I was selling the house and...........", his voice trailed off, and he started mumbling to himself.  He was in a complete stupor.  I asked him about the rug.  He finally said he couldn't make it to the toilet.  I asked him if he needed clean underwear, he said he had some already.  When he put the underwear on, it was backwards and inside out.  I said nothing.

It is now time to break out the adult diapers.  I have a package in my closet.  I have kept them there waiting for "the day".  He will have to start wearing them.  It's time.

I knew there would come a time that we would advance to diapers; knew it all along.  But, it seemed so far off.  "There will come a time when patient will lose all bodily functions.  Adult diapers will have to be worn", is what I read.  

My heart is heavy this morning.  How degrading for him.  How sad I feel for him.  Sad for me.  Sad for our family.  Sad for the man he once was.  I miss that man.  I miss my husband.