I'm still here. I have had a very rough time since last Thursday. Mentally and physically. I have had to come to the conclusion that within 6 months, I will have to place husband in a nursing home. This decision has been solely based on what happened last week.
Husband had to be taken by ambulance to hospital. There, they put him on Suicide Watch. I could not see him. They would come out every few hours and let me know how he was doing. I was finally able to bring him home late, early Friday morning.
It's not that I'm throwing in the towel, or giving up. No. I just know that for him to receive the best care and to be in a medical environment, well, a nursing home will have to suffice.
I don't know how I'm feeling anymore. I was so looking forward to going to San Antonio and seeing my boy graduate. Oh, I'm still going, but, with a somber outlook on the future.
But, I will smile and be so happy and proud of my son. He doesn't need to know what has transpired. He'll find out soon enough.
This is where I am at today. I have made my final decision. Each time I look at husband and see nothing in his eyes, it makes me feel better about my decision.
Oh my gosh, what happened. I worried about that with my dad but he got alot weaker after I thought he could do harm. I do think your decision is the right one. Go, have fun and be proud. COuld someone stay with your husband so you can go alone.
ReplyDeleteI logged onto my laptop tonight to see if you'd updated. Such a hard few days you've had -- and now I know why you've been on my mind. I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry. There really are no words, are there?
ReplyDeleteYou are beautifully kind and faithful to your sweet DH. I hope you are able to believe, really believe, there is never any wrong in getting help to care for him. It seems this is now how you best care for him - by having others help. That's. okay.
((HUGS)), dear one....
Johanna
(for the first time ever, I find myself wishing I hadn't yet moved from San Antonio, just so we could meet at your DS's graduation!!)