Gut Wrenching Moments

Settling in.  Love, love, love this new apartment.  I have met some of my neighbors.  All nice.  Because husband does not go out, all assumed I lived alone.  I have to explain that no, I don't live alone, however, husband is pretty much bedridden at this point.  They all give their, "I'm so sorry's", tell me to call on them if I need something.  I like that.  They have told me this complex is a great place to live, good people, rather quiet and care about their neighbors.  I feel secure here.  Each day, I feel better and better about this move.  Yes, I think it's going to be OK after all.

Husband has been adjusting to this new environment.  He seemed better yesterday.  I joked with him and he responded with a chuckle and a small laugh.  His appetite was better.  He still will not go outside.  He may be afraid, I don't know.

Because we don't have a cable outlet in our bedroom and the complex does not allow cable company to drill, I've had to rig up a cable line running from living room to bedroom.  Actually, you can't even tell there is a cable line from living room to bedroom.  Once I got it all hooked up, the TV kept telling me there was no signal to the TV.  Frustrated, I called the cable co.  They talked me through it, and what do you know, the TV talked to the cable box and husband has his TV back.  He was one happy camper.

Alzheimer's is a funny disease.  You know they are going to not remember anything.  Comes with the territory.  But, when they forget even the simple things, it sometimes upsets me.  Take for instance, husband getting into bed.  He has completely forgotten how to pull back the comforter and top sheet.  He gets so confused.  He doesn't know that you need to get in between the sheets, not on top of the sheets.  I was explaining this to him the other night.  I got the bed opened, told him to get into bed.  He sat down on the bed, looked up at me and said, "Can you lift my legs?  They don't work anymore".  Ugh.  Since then, I've had to guide him on the bed, then, lift his legs.

A good friend of ours helped us move Saturday.  Rick knew of husband's illness, we just haven't seen him in quite awhile.  When he got to the house Saturday, husband went up to him.  Rick being Rick, looked at husband, his face fell, he recovered and said, "Hey, big guy, long time no see.  How are you?"  Husband looked down at the floor and said, "Oh, not so good, I caught what my mom had."

I hate those gut wrenching moments.  They are coming more frequently than I'd like now.  Crap.