Week in Review

This week has been rough. Leon has seemed to stabilize somewhat, alot of memory issues this past week, but seemed more stabilized in alot of other areas. I hate this part though. It's kind of like watching a glass falling in slow motion. You know it's going to crash on the floor and there is nothing you can do about it. It looks to be in good shape as it's falling, but then, the crash. I associate that with what happens to him. He seems fine, then, crash, another part is gone.

Alot of people say, "he seems fine". But what they don't know is, when they are talking to him, he gets that glazed look in his eyes, but continues to nod and agree with them. He has no clue what they are talking about, but, to be polite, he nods in agreement. It's facinating and sad all at the same time.

This disease is so tricky and so, so unpredictable. Honestly, you just never know what to expect.

I have had a hard time this week. When I get this way, I get mad at myself because I don't ever want to feel or portray myself as a "feel sorry for me" kind of attitude. Those are the kind of people I avoid at all costs. And to think I was heading in that direction this week. No, I won't become one of them.

All I can do is make the best of this situation and walk the walk.

Let's hope for a better week to come and when the "crash" happens, (oh, trust me, it will happen), I will stand strong, swallow the lump in my throat, adjust to the change, be there for him, tell Jack that it's all in the progression and hold it all together. I have to, for the good of my family.