Twins, Tools and Too much

Not a whole lot happening here. I slept on the couch last night. Husband had a very rough night. As I lay on the couch, I kept thinking that maybe I should get twin beds. I can't sleep when he has a bad night, but, don't feel secure in leaving him in the bedroom alone. Plus, where am I to get money to buy new beds? Oh, I hate this, all of it.

Kind of at a loss about this. The jerking, choking and tremors are only getting worse. Even when Dr A upped his anti-seizure med, it just doesn't work. I have to call the Dr in a few weeks, touch base with him, see what he suggests.

I am feeling better today, so, I start the packing process. Can't wait. I looked around last night and, even with our garage sale, I have a lot of stuff. In the garage is another story. Husband will not part with any of his tools. He does not use them anymore and, being that we are going into a much smaller house, there is not a lot of room for them. So, I have to get firm and announce to him that this weekend, we are having a tool sale. End of discussion. In his healthier days I would never suggest he get rid of any tools. But now, they have to go. Will keep some of them, in case I need something, but, compressors, drills, air hammer guns, countless tool boxes and cupboards? For Sale.

There is a special tool box that my brother in law bought him many years ago. That goes with me. It was a Christmas gift from a special person, so, no, that will not be sold. Now, the hard part is not deciding what to sell, it's getting husband to part with them. I just don't have the room where we're going.

I hope to have the whole house packed up by end of this weekend. We can live out of boxes, no big deal. Just want it done. I am excited to get into the new place. Fresh new house. When we moved in here, things were different. Husband was not sick like he is now. In fact, he was fine. I know moving into a new house will not make this monster go away, but, for my sanity, I convince myself that we can build new memories in the new place.

My old boss has my Letter of Recommendation ready. I am going by the office to pick it up tomorrow. I haven't been back since I resigned. Will feel awkward. Maybe with this letter it'll get me at the very least an interview? There are days when I question, is going back to work a good thing or not? I'm just trying to survive. Don't know what else to do. It could be a good thing, or, it could be a mistake. I am not the kind of person who sits around and wonders about the "what if's." The only way I'm going to know if this is the right thing for me to do or not, is do it. Who am I kidding? I haven't even gotten a nod from anyone. Time will tell.

Let the packing begin!!