Offerings of help

Why do I blog? Why do I put myself out there? How can I come here each day and open my heart and soul to cyberspace?

Why? I'll tell you. It's to tell a story. It's a story of a man who had it all. A loving family, well respected in the community, strong and giving. It's also about a man who has been struck down in the prime of his life with this deadly disease.

I first suspected husband had been afflicted in 2005. I didn't say anything, just, wondered. It was ever so slightly, but, it was there. It gradually became more apparent with; the confusion (at sudden moments), a change in his personality, (slight), a sudden limp in the left leg, forgetting where the light switches were, forgetting where silverware or dishes were, or, needing directions to a certain place he had been to hundred of times.

By 2008, I was convinced he had it, but, did not know where to turn. So, I started my research on the internet. I found my answers. I knew he had it. Only, I did not know where to take him.

I started with our primary doctor. Now, husband has never gone to Dr's. Never needed to. Once our primary watched him walk, he immediately referred him over to Neurology. And we all know how that turned out.

There were times I wondered if I was crazy or imagining all of the symptoms. I questioned every move I made. I thought I would go nuts at times.

Now, today, I look back at my decisions and know I did the right thing. Even though the outcome is as I suspected and will leave me a widow, I did the right thing. And for what? What did I gain? He's going to die.

My fears have been confirmed, my questions have been answered. I can only go forward with the knowledge that I have now. I know what to expect, I know what to do. It's not easy.

Let's get this knowledge out there. If you know of anyone who maybe suffering with symptoms I just described, please, get a diagnosis. It may be nothing or it may be something. You just never know. Educate yourself beforehand. Arm yourself with knowledge when you see the specialists. Push for testing. Make them listen to you.

Never going through this before, I was armed when we saw the first Neurologist. I told them, day one, what he had. I was proven right.

So, I need your help. Please, if you know of anyone who is going through what I went through, or, anyone who is suffering the first effects of this terrible disease, let me help. It's a very lonely feeling when you know, but you don't know.

God has directed me to help. I feel God has led me to this point. I had to go through this in order to help and guide others.

I'm here.