Ride the wild surf

So, life continues on. I get up each morning, preparing for the day. I have hope each day that husband will have a good day. I wonder what he lost during the night. Some days are good, some, not so good.

We have had a few good days. Of course, husband is fading, but, he has been in good spirits the last few days.

I had to go grocery shopping yesterday. Husband was asleep. As I looked at him, I felt the need to wake him and take him with me. I did. He was a little confused when I told him I had to go to the bank, gas station, then on to the store. You cannot tell an Alzheimer's/Dementia patient a list of things you are going to do. I keep forgetting that one. You have to tell them one thing at a time. He was easy going about it, just kept asking when we were going to go to the store.

He did fine in the store. I explained to him that we could not buy any extras, that I had to buy the necessities. There were no throwing fits, no wandering off, nothing. He stayed by my side, asked me a few hundred questions, and was even joking with me.

As we were leaving the parking lot, he said, "I kept up with you real good, huh?" I complimented him on his ability to keep up with me in the walker. It was nice, yesterday afternoon.

In these Alzheimer's/Dementia patients, their eyes do something weird. They seem to take on a life of their own. It's hard to explain it, it's like their eyes get bigger, rounder in a strange sort of way. But the eyes themselves are blank. Total blank. I don't like looking at his eyes.

There have been a lot of tremors during the day. I've noticed this week, he has tremors in his arms all day long now. He also shakes involuntarily, all day. When he goes to lift his glass of water, he will spill sometimes because of these tremors. When I see him having tremors, I turn my head. I don't like looking at that.

There are a lot of things I don't like nowadays.

All in all, since Dr A called last week, it has been OK. All I can do is keep doing what I'm doing. There is no guideline for my days. There is no schedule. I deal with whatever comes up during the day. I am no longer in charge of anything. This disease has taken over our very lives. All I can do is ride it out.

And, ride it out I will.