Very quiet, low key Sunday. Even on Super Bowl Sunday. I'm not a football fan, but, in the days when husband was well, we did get caught up on all the hoopla that is Super Bowl Sunday. My, times have changed.
Some of you have asked when was the last time I had a good night's sleep. I don't remember. I sleep with one eye open nowadays.
Another question was do I worry husband will leave the house in the middle of the night. Yes, hence, sleeping with one eye open.
Last night was no different.
Husband was restless in the evening. He called me in the room and very politely asked me to ask the man in the closet to leave. I showed him again our reflection in the mirror and told him there was no man there, it was him. He said, "I know you say that is me, but, I don't think so. He scares me."
When it was time for bed, I was turning the bed covers down, husband was beside me, looking scared and confused. When I got to my side of the bed, husband said, "What about those people?", pointing to the mirror. I looked in the mirror and saw two people, husband and myself. I said, "Those people are you and I, honey." He hesitated, I told him to go to the bathroom and I would tuck him in bed.
He finished in the bathroom, came halfway out and whispered for me to come to him. I got to the bathroom door and he whispered, "Do you think we'll be OK?" "Of course we'll be fine," was my response. "No, I mean, that man in there, he scares me. I know you say that is me, but I know that's not me."
I convinced him to come to bed. He was hesitant. I opened the closet door so he could not see his reflection. That seemed to ease his mind somewhat. He said if the man came at him, he was going to shoot him. Oh boy.
I got into bed, told him I wouldn't let anyone hurt him, I was there to protect him.
When most people go to bed, they look forward to relaxing, snuggling under the covers and going to sleep. I, on the other hand, went to bed last night with a feeling such dread. It took me awhile to fall asleep, only to wake every half hour or so to check on husband.
Around 1:30 am, I woke up and he was not in bed. Panic! He was in the bathroom. He came out, naked , of course. I got him back in bed and he slept the rest of the night.
I got up at 5 am. I'm tired.
This is not good. Final Stage 7. "They" say that's when the hallucinations begin.
We have arrived to the Final Stage 7.
You have mentioned several times that your apartment community has been very welcoming and supportive. Do you think perhaps you could ask the manager if they'd remove the mirrored closet doors for now? I know it would give you...open closets, basically. But the mirrored doors seem to be so difficult for your sweet husband, and therefore for you.
ReplyDeleteDo you have a motion alarm on the front door, so he can't leave without you knowing? My husband put some up in our house as he travels a lot for work and it gives me peace of mind - they go up with velcro and super-sticky double-sided tape, sos very simple install.
Basically, I offer you solutions because there are no solutions, there are no words, and I am continually amazed at your grace and strength. Many ((hugs)) and prayers through the internet to you, dear one.
Johanna
I was thinking some of the same thoughts as Johanna. Perhaps if the doors can't be removed, the mirror glass could be covered with contact paper, construction paper, paint? - something to help this one problem not be a problem. I remember my friend's mother having confusion with the concept of the television and the people on the television being able to see her, etc. More hugs and prayers from Minnesota. May you feel our support from wherever we reside.
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