Where to begin? These last few days have been rough. Husband is slipping away from me. He's here one minute, gone the next.
Alzheimer's patients become somewhat obsessed with the oddest things. Husband is no different. For some reason, he has become obsessed in organizing and re-organizing his nightstand, cabinet under his nightstand and his side of the closet.
After about two hours of this last night, I heard him moaning while sitting on the side of the bed. I waited for a few minutes then went in the bedroom. Let me explain something.
Our one wall in our bedroom is closet. There are three mirrored doors. On the inside track on either side are a slider door. On the outside track is the middle door. That was easy, right? Not to an Alzheimer sufferer.
OK, so I went in there and showed husband how they close. That's all he wanted to do was close the closet doors, he said. Showed him again. He seemed like he understood. Went back to watching a show on TV. He began to moan again. Went back in there and it happened again.
He did not recognize me. It lasted longer than the times before. Then, he told me he needed to get that man out of the closet. I asked, "What man?" He pointed at himself in the mirror and said, "That man." Making light of this, I laughed and said, "Honey, that's you in the mirror." He looked at himself in the mirror and did not recognize himself at all. It took a few minutes to convince him. Finally, he asked, "That's me?" "Yep", I said. We laughed about it, I got him back in bed, told him to rest.
That one rattled me.
Friday night and into the wee hours of Saturday morning was fun. I woke up to find husband had made the bed on his side and was sleeping under a throw blanket. Asked him what was he doing, he began to slur his words and mumbled something. This was around 1:30 am.
Woke up around 4 am to find husband wandering the apartment, naked. His wet diaper was on the bedroom floor. Steered him back to the bedroom, put a fresh diaper on him, tucked him into bed and got a little more sleep.
He slept most of the day yesterday. I made him his favorite dinner. He didn't eat as much, but, said it was delicious.
I am hopeful the nurse will start this coming week.
I had a dream last night. Husband's mother was in the dream. Could it be that she is letting me know she's coming for husband?
I don't know how to respond to that right now.
Oh my, sounds like things are happening fast right now. For him not to recognize himself with you nearby worries me. I don't remember that with my father. I don't remember him looking in the mirrow though. He would forget our names but still remembered who we were. So confused, can you imagined how awful that must feel. They must have so much trust in their caregivers though.....in you. You take such good care of him......Sure hope you get help next week. I do think the move was a good thing. A smaller place has to be easier to keep track of him. ((((((HUGS)))))
ReplyDeleteI hope the nurse comes this week too! Your care giving is 24/7 and you could use a break, I think. Can you remember the last time you got a full night of uninterrupted sleep? Gosh, the physical, mental, and emotional toll is really, incredibly hard. I hope you can work with the nurse to find some respite for yourself.
ReplyDeleteDo you worry now about your husband leaving the house without your knowledge?
I cannot imagine how it feels to look at someone, your husband, and know there is no recognition of who you are, or who he is in the mirror. It must hurt right down to your soul. Absolutely heart breaking.
When the nurse comes, will you talk with her about Plan B? A plan for when you just cannot physically care for your husband?
My prayers go out to you.
Sincerely,
Becky
Oh my. I am so sorry to read the continued digression in your dear husband. I cannot imagine what you are going through. The simple things that the brain has been unable to now process. We are so fearfully and wonderfully made - and when things go awry, that fact becomes more real, doesn't it? May you feel God's presence even in the midst of this dark valley today.
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