Yesterday was one of reflection of what was and what is to come.
Jane's service was elegant, yet, simple. Just the way she lived her life. She was a private person. She held no grudges. She always found it in her heart to forgive.
As I sat at the graveside services, I looked around at the cemetery and found it to be peaceful. I had my closure, knowing she was where she wanted to be placed, forever. Next to her husband Bob.
Husband's mother is placed just south of where Jane and Bob are. Husband is to be placed next to her. It struck me as I was leaving and happened to look up to where mother in law is.
Of course, husband didn't realize it. He doesn't realize a lot of things anymore.
That was a little hard for me. That final resting place. But then, I looked at my husband, crippled not only in body, but, mind as well, a prisoner, and, I thought back to an old song I used to sing at church.
"It is well with my Soul."
Yes, I will miss him. Yes, I will long for days gone by. I will have my memories of my husband, big and strong and, healthy. Gone are those days. Replaced by a shell of a man he once was. A man who, at times, doesn't even recognize me.
As this peaceful feeling came over me for Jane, I know that same feeling will follow when I place husband next to his mother.
Yes, it is well with my Soul.
We sang that very song last Sunday ...first time I had heard it ...loved it. Happy you are finding some peace.
ReplyDeleteThat song has such meaning for me as well. I remember after my brother died (10 days after a cancer diagnosis at age 49) I could NOT sing it. I wept as it was being sung, thinking "no, Lord, I'm sorry, it is not well with my soul right now." But after a period of time, can't even remember how long, one day we stood up in church to sing it and I was halfway through the song when I realized I was singing, no glossy eyes, and then I knew.. yes, Lord, thank you. Once again, it is well with my soul. Thinking of you today.
ReplyDeletePowerful song. I can't sing it w/o getting choked up as it's a very meaningful song for my mama who has overcome great adversity. She wants it sung when they day comes that she goes "home". I'll never be able to sing the words w/o thinking of her and w/o tears. I know God's peace can transcend our understanding and great sorrow. Praise the Lord for giving you that peace.
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