Devastating

Where do I begin? 

Here I was, thinking all the way to the hospital yesterday, that I could handle anything.

To make a long story short, when Dr A was examining husband, he saw how far he has declined.  I told him about the eyesight.  Dr A, knowing I do my homework, asked me what I thought.  I told him I thought the part of the brain controlling the eyes have become involved now.  Dr A looked straight at me and said, "We shall see."  He was baffled at husband and this eyesight issue.

Dr A and I sat together and brought up the MRI.  First, he ruled out any strokes that might have occurred, affecting his eyes.  And then, we went to the back of the brain.  It was devastating.  Dr looked at me and said, "What do you see?"

Husband's brain, at the back, has pulled away from the skull.  It is shrinking.  There are canals, or gaps, if you will, throughout the brain, mostly centered at the back part.  Classic Alzheimer's scan of the brain.  Classic.

And that is where Dr A pointed out, the eyes are controlled.  Complete damage. 

Not only has husband lost the use of his legs, speech and memory, he will now, I am told, be blind.

When we were done, and I was trying not to cry, husband asked the Dr, "Am I going to die?"  Dr looked straight at him and said, "Yes, Mr Lucero, you will indeed die."  Straight and to the point, that's what I love about Dr A.

When the Dr had left the room for a minute, husband looked at me and said, "So, there's no hope for me?"  "No."  I said.

There is nothing left to say.  Dr said it could be 6 months or longer.  Told me to take him home and love him, making whatever time he has left comfortable.

And so, my friends, that is what I'll do.  Today is a new day.  I will put my Big Girl Pants on and when husband wakes up, I will go to him, kiss his forehead and say, "Good morning, honey".

Yes, indeed, Good Morning.