Another Phase?

We are now moving into a phase I do not like (as if I liked any of this). Leon has continued to go downhill. It is so evident now. It has been 7 weeks, and he has not come out of it. There are moments, and, when I say moments, I mean moments, where he is "OK", but it only lasts for mere minutes, then, he goes back into his world. His memory is pitiful now. I hold my breath every morning, to see what he has lost overnight. He has been combative over the last few days, only towards me. I have had to learn to just take it and continue on with my day.

The other day he took 3 showers, forgetting he had already had his shower. Of course, I made it funny and he seemed to think it was funny too.

I had an anxiety attack on Friday. Haven't had one in years. It just hit me. I was still feeling it's effects yesterday. Can't go there, too much to do, too many people are relying on me. Need to find my inner strength again.

This phase has taken me off guard. Didn't see it coming, maybe that's why I had an anxiety attack.

Had my car serviced on Friday. It cost me $88.00 for diagnostic and oil change. Now, I have to come up with $400.00 by the end of this month for the Tune-up, fix a small oil leak and transmission flush. Uh, ok, the odds of me coming up with that kind of money by the end of this month (have to have it done in order to go to Denver) are very slim. Guess I need to buy a lottery ticket. Story of my life: just when I think I'm gonna catch a break, reality slams me in the face.

My daughter in law and I were talking yesterday. She said, "You know, Sue, you can call me anytime you are having a bad day." To make a point, I said, "Christine, every day is a bad day for me."

On to the next chapter.