My dear sweet brother in Florida has given me the name of a Pastor here in Albuquerque that his Pastor knows. He has referred me to him, I will call today to set up an appointment with him. I have put me on the back burner too long. I need help too. I have been reading books my wonderful Sister sent me, and believe me, they help. I just need to find my core energy again, and I believe that with the two, I can do it.
This morning we go see Dr Quintana for the last time. He is leaving UNM, so Leon will be referred over to the Dementia Clinic with another Dr. We saw this Dr last year. He was great also. Leon does not want to go today. These appointments don't last long. We talk about everything. Dr always asks, "So, how's the memory?" Leon always says, "It's good!!!!" Then, the Dr looks over at me and I just shake my head. It's hard taking him because he is still in so much denial. On the way home he is always quiet, gets home and will sleep for hours. It exhausts him. Another thing we touch on is his "End of Life Plan". He does not like that. Imagine taking your child in for shots. The child is petrified of needles. And you have to tell them they are getting shots. The child is horrified. Well, that's what it's like taking my husband to the Neurologist.
Leon's Drivers License is expiring this month and he is obsessed with re-newing it. I have a hard time telling him that the Dr said no more driving. I don't know how I can get away with this one. Any suggestions? Ha, easier said than done.
Jack had his first session with the Psychiatrist. He liked her alot, said that he felt better now that he can talk with someone who listens and gets to the heart of it. I am so glad we found her. She has a way with children and can communicate with him. He said, "It's different with her, Mom." I'll take help anyway I can get it.
Sometimes, during the day, I feel my world spiraling out of control. I feel as if I am losing ground. I need to stay grounded. For Leon, for Jack and for myself.
Jack asked if we could move to Denver sooner than next June. Unfortunately, we cannot. There is no money to do that with. I have to plan, save and decide.
We are going to Denver to spend the 4th of July with Justin & Anne. I will take time to visit areas where we can afford to live. For that, I am looing forward to. My life as it is right now, well, there's not much to look forward to. At least the changes in our life and the decisions I am making for Jack and I get my mind off of this disease that presents itself and slaps me in the face when I wake up each morning.
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