Waiting to exhale

Not much news on the home front. Yesterday was rather boring. I'll take it. Weather has turned ugly. Very cold, woke up to snow this morning.

I am going to see one of the Pastors at church today. I need some guidance, prayer and just general help. I know he doesn't have all the answers I need, but at least it's someone to talk to. I am concerned about me, what I'm feeling, where I'm going and what to do. Everything is piling up on my shoulders, I can feel the weight, am so very tired. I get angry at the little things. I know it's all part of what I'm dealing with, but, I do not like this person. I'm fighting it which is only making it worse. I also have a Dr appointment on the 14th, I am going to break down and ask him to give me an Rx for my nerves. I do not like taking anything, but, it's come to a point where I have to.

I hate these "woe is me" posts. When I started this blog, I wanted it to be honest and heartfelt. I can honestly say it is. I speak from the heart. Unfortunately, my heart is broken, hence the "woe is me".

Husband continues to be stable for now. Continues to do some strange things. Yesterday morning, for instance. He was getting dressed. He put his pants on, came out, stood in the hallway, did some circles, went back to the bedroom. Put on his socks, came out, did the same thing in the hallway, went back to the bedroom. Got his shirt on, did the same thing. Went back to the room, put his shoes on, and yes, did the same thing. I finally asked him what he was doing, he mumbled something, then came out to the living room. This wandering the house is daily now. He will venture out to the garage and wander there. Will go into the kitchen and open all the cabinets. Step in to the pantry, look around, then come out.

There is one thing that drives. me. nuts. When the phone rings and he hears me start to talk, he will come out and sit, listening to what I have to say. He will make it look as if he came out for a purpose, but it's so obvious what he's doing. Once I get off the phone, back he goes to the room. This, of all things, is making me crazy. I have told him I think that is rude, but he says he "never" does that. Oy Vey.

Into the weekend we go. Of course, the weekend doesn't mean much to me anymore. Everyday is just another day around here. Holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Oh, it will, just don't know when. Until then, I'll be waiting to exhale.