So it begins.............

A little late in posting.  My morning has been stressful.  Husband has not come out of this, whatever it is.  I called father in law this morning, had him come up.  He came and talked with husband.

Let me back up.  I ran to the store yesterday afternoon.  I was gone for 20-30 minutes.  When I got back home, husband was fit to be tied.  He told me he had "solved" our problem.  I didn't know we had a problem except for the obvious.  He proceeded to tell me someone had broken into our house and had robbed us.  He said we needed to get some nails and a hammer and  he wanted me to nail all our windows shut. 

It took me awhile to get him calmed down.  Last night was very uncomfortable for me, to say the least.  Of course, I talked him out of me nailing the windows shut.

This morning, as I was getting him into the bath, he began to cry, saying he was just so tired of all of this nonsense.  He once again explained that when we moved here, he said I told him it would be just him and I living here.  Now, he said, we have people coming in and out of our apartment and the "man", oh, he was just so tired of "the man".

The dread I felt and still feel inside is something I hope no one has to feel again.  Ever.  I gave him a nice bath, shave and afterwards, a pedicure.  In the meantime, I called father in law and he came up.  Husband had father in law lock our bedroom window.  That has helped his mind somewhat.

I have put in a call to the Dr.  Do I take him in to be evaluated?  Can I up his anti-psychotic med?  I am waiting for the Dr to return my call.

This is it, folks.  Father in law got me aside, and said, "This is going to be so hard.  This is the worst part of it all.  You are doing a good job.  You have to stay strong.  I'm here.  I'll be back tomorrow morning."

Oh God, can I really do this?  I sit here with tears and my heart is hurting so bad.  I glance at husband now, and there he is, paranoid and confused. 

Dear God, get me through this.