The simple way of Life

Yesterday was a tough one for me.  And for husband as well.

It all started off fine.  That is, until he decided to take stuff out of the closet.  Again. 

What happens is, he takes a lot of his stuff out of the closet, messes with it, then puts it all back.  Only now, he has developed a habit of taking stuff out of boxes or cases and putting them elsewhere, leaving empty cases and boxes on the bed or floor, then, will go into panic mode trying to remember where he put stuff.

I would go in and help him find his things.  Put it all back together again, only to have him take it all out, hide it, then panic and call me again.  I had had enough of this, so I went in, put it all together and told him very sternly, "That's enough.  I'm fixing dinner, I want you to sit on the bed and rest.  You've had a long day."  He said he would put it all away.

I checked on dinner and decided to check on husband.  As I was walking down the hall, there was husband, sitting in front of the closet, holding a screw driver.  He was talking to "the man",  I suppose and was asking him if he wanted the screw driver.  Then, he said, "OK, here you go.  Now, stay out of my stuff."  That was a little unnerving and unsettling.

Finally, finally, he put it all back and sat down on the side of the bed where he began to talk to "the man" again.  He was laughing, putting his hand to his mouth and really laughing.

Only, that wasn't so funny to me.  I said a silent prayer for husband to come out of it.  He did, somewhat, didn't eat much, but at least the stuff stayed in the closet for the rest of the night.

I sat outside and did some thinking.  Have to make a decision whether to place husband or not.  I believe it's getting to the point where I have to make some kind of decision.  I have heard that nursing homes have a rather long waiting list.  So, if I am to place him, I have to act now to get him on a waiting list.  But, I haven't made up my mind yet.  I need a little more time.

I am not ready for this kind of decision.  I don't know what to do.  I am at a loss this morning.  Sad and scared all at the same time. 

If only we could make decisions and know they were the right thing to do.  Oh, how simple life would be, yes?