Therapy

Jack leaves tomorrow for Germany.  Early.  Tyler is taking him to the airport.  We are spending the day at father in law's house.  Our last family gathering. 

Bittersweet.

Jack took us out for a late lunch, early dinner yesterday.  As we were eating, Jack and I were talking about husband.  There he sat across from us, in complete oblivion, eating.  His food was falling from his hands, back onto his plate.  He would try to pick up his burger, only to have it fall apart.  I would put it back together for him.  He never noticed.

After doing this, I looked at Jack and said, "You know, honey, this is it.  When he goes, I hope you will come home."  "Of course, Mom.  I'll give you instructions on how to call the Red Cross." 

With that, we finished our meal.

There it is.  A conversation I thought would never happened, happened. 

My, he's grown into a fine young man. 

Husband continues in his own world.  Pleasant.  But just not there anymore.  I hope he is happy in his world.  I hope he feels love and is comfortable wherever he is at.

I did my laundry yesterday.  Saving house cleaning for tomorrow.  Going to scrub everything.  Even if it doesn't need cleaning, it's getting a good scrubbing. 

All the while thinking, "My husband is dying, my son is on a plane bound for Germany".

It'll be good for me, this scrubbing.  Therapy. 

Yes, that's what I'll do.