Whos' in charge?

Not much to report for today.  Husband continues to be in his own world. 

I did, however take him with me to Social Security.  I needed a copy of his Award Letter for our insurance at UNM Hospital.  Good thing I did.  They wouldn't of given it to me if husband were not there. 

I have been named as his Power of Attorney a few years ago.  After diagnosis.  But, Social Security does not recognize any such outside Power of Attorney.  As the lady was preparing the award letter for me, she noticed husband and his nodding off and that haunting vacant look.  She asked me if I was his representative.  I explained about having power of attorney.  She leaned over and asked husband if she could make me his rep for the future.  Of course, he nodded, not knowing what she was saying.  She prepared the paperwork. 

As she was doing so, she asked me what was wrong with husband.  I said, "Late stage Alzheimer's."  Oh, the look on her face.  She kept apologizing, I kept saying it was OK.

Then came his signature.  He just could not sign it.  Finally, she said, "Honey, just have him put an X on the line."

So, I am now his rep with Social Security.  All decisions are to be made by me.  With everything now.  His benefits, his life and his death.  Whether they should keep him alive should it get to that point.  And where he is to be buried.  Everything.

All decisions.  Funny, I don't feel so powerful.  I don't like being in charge.  It's all on my shoulders now. 

Who would like to be in charge?  It's really not as fun as it sounds.