and we're off

I come here early in the morning. My mind is fresh, my head is clear. Husband is still sleeping, so the course of my day has not been set yet. I never know what I am going to post about. I start out slow, then the mind and heart come together and the words just start to flow. (was that just a rhyme?)

It's good for me to post. I get it all out here. I express myself better here than I can talking it out. One day, when all of this crap is over with, I probably won't have anything more to say. A new chapter of my life will begin, and yet, will I continue to post? Don't know.

Husband had tremors yesterday. Kristen went to wake him up for dinner. When she came back into the kitchen, she told me, "Mom, his legs were vibrating". This is the first time she has seen the tremors. She said that scared her.

We see Dr Q on Dec 1st. Because Medicare will be in effect in December, I have chosen to follow Dr Q at his new practice. I like Dr A, but, feel more comfortable with Dr Q. He listens to me, knows that I am not dumb when it comes to this disease, that I have done my homework. Husband is looking forward to seeing him.

I saw a commercial yesterday about the same mood stabilizer husband is on. It said that patients with Dementia are at risk taking this drug. What? Husband has responded to it beautifully. My question is, how at risk is he, and, what more damage could it possibly do? Questions for Dr Q.

Husband is now up. I have answered the same question twice now. He seems OK, but quiet, a little confused. Don't know what today will bring. He doesn't understand much anymore. He will ask me the same question daily about finances. He thinks that when we get his SS Disability, it just sits in the bank. Try to explain to him that that's what I pay bills with. He just doesn't get it. After I explain to him, he says, "But, we get this money, it should still be there". Then, I explain again, and again, until I get so frustrated, he senses it. I try not to explain finances to him. I avoid the subject, or try to.

By the way husband is acting, I can see we are going to have a most interesting day. He's confused. He seems lost. So, here we go.....