Moving right along

We all have a specific walk. We all walk differently. Some of us walk fast, some slow. Some of us walk with a purpose, some walk without a care in the world.

As I was thinking about this this morning, I had to stop. I don't remember how husband used to walk when he was well. I can remember him going out the door to work, I can remember him going shopping with me, I can remember him on the beach, but, I can't remember how he walked normally.

It's funny how the little things hit me. I can't remember.

His disease started to affect his walking in 2008. It started out as a limp in his left leg. It turned into a slight shuffle. Then, the left leg would drag. One day at work, right before he was laid off, someone asked him why he walked with a "limp".

You know how some dolls are made? How their torso is hard, heads are hard. The arms and legs are kind of flimsy? Husbands legs are like that now. Flimsy. They flop when he tries to walk, they drag, they are spastic.

And I can't remember him any other way. After all these years of marriage, I can't remember how he walked before the disease hit.

Mood stabilizer has helped some. He seems more calmer. Glad I insisted on it. Sure has helped. He seems more open, willing to talk about his "issues", mostly, his attempt to walk.

So, we march on. Merging ahead. Don't know what's around the corner, but, I'll be content with what we have now.

Hospice comes Wednesday. See what they have to say. Am anxious about his weight. There was significant weight loss the last month. Will see what the scale says on Wednesday. Hopefully, the last weigh-in was mis-read. That was an awful lot of weight to loose in 2 weeks. If the scales are correct, he lost 15 lbs in 2 weeks. Wednesday will give me the answers on that.

I can honestly say that the last several days have been good. Of course the memory is poor, the walking is labored, the disease is doing it's job, but, we have been OK with it all. It's the way it is. As in anything else that comes my way, I just go with it, tackle it and move on.