My friend, Jackie gave me a book last month called "The Purpose Driven Life". I had planned on finally diving into this book yesterday, however, I received two very long phone calls back to back, and could not get into it. This afternoon, after Bible Study and getting husband settled, I plan on doing just that. I may have to unplug the phone.
Suddenly, I have this fire in me burning. Somewhere, deep inside of me, there is a me. I am on a quest to find the me I know I can be. The desire is there. It's not hopeless for me. I am not a lost cause. I am important.
As I was looking through the job list, I noticed a company I had applied to two times before was advertising once again. I sent my Resume again, this time telling them I don't give up so easily. Either they'll hire me to get me to stop emailing them, or, tell me to stop emailing them. Whatever.
In all, I think I applied to six or seven places. I have done this before, never to get a response from anyone, however, that old saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again," is what I'm doing. Time will tell.
I was putting clean laundry away yesterday. As I went into the bedroom, husband was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I asked him if he was alright, he nodded his head and said, "I was thinking of the first time I ever went camping." I sat down on the bed and he told me all about that camping trip. Every detail. When he was finished, he said, "I remember so much about my childhood. I can remember. It was a good childhood, you know? My parents were good to me."
Fighting my tears, I put my arm around him and said, "It's so good that you remember that. I'm glad you remember those things, when you were a little boy. It makes me feel good to know that you know you were so loved."
I left the bedroom, the tears started. I wanted to sit on the couch and sob my heart out. But, of course, the phone rang!!
It feels at times like I'm a caterpillar, wrapped up in my cocoon. One day, I'm am going to spread my wings and fly.
Just you wait and see!!
"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of it's own." Matthew 6:34
So good to hear you say these words. You aren't the one that is failing. You have alot of life to live. Being a caregiver is so time consuming that you don't feel you have a life of your own.
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