My "Real" Life

After re-reading my post from yesterday, I sound silly.  And selfish.

If you've ever been surrounded with death looming at your door, watching your husband fade away, trying to make it financially, a depression that can, at times, overwhelm you, you've just described me to a T.

I came alive last week.  I smiled, a real genuine smile.  I laughed.  I had something to look forward to each morning as I got up.  Oh, it was wonderful.  Just wonderful.

But, only God knows what's best for me.  I believe and fully trust in Him.  Time will tell.  If not, well then, it wasn't right for me.

On the home front, husband had a good week.  Jack & Kristen took care of him, with Kristen doing most of the work.  She made sure he ate lunch and did not sleep all day.

He said he was glad I got out of the house, and looked forward to me coming home each night.

I took him out for a bit yesterday.  He enjoyed it.

Father in law and his wife came yesterday with a big surprise.  Father in law bought us a small trailer for husband's scooter chair.  All I have to do is buy a hitch for it.  That was so sweet of him.

We had a great visit.  Lupe, (FIL's wife) and I had a great time visiting.  She told me at one point that husband looked too thin, was he eating enough?  She was concerned that he sleeps a lot.  I explained that I make him wake up, per Dr's orders.  She said he looked pale to her.  Said she was concerned about husband.

I had to explain to her that no matter what I do for husband, this disease will always win.  He will sleep a lot, he will lose weight.  All I can do is make sure he gets the nutrition he needs and stimulate him to keep him awake for the better part of the day.  She told me I was doing a good job of taking care of him, it's just that it upsets her to see him now.  Yeah, I know.

An excellent week for me, just another week for husband.

Beginning this week, I go back to my "real" life.