Turning pages

  The day has come.  I will surrender my son to the United States Air Force at 3:00 PM today.  He will stay in a Hotel overnight, go to processing tomorrow, and then they will shuttle him to the airport where he will fly away.  I am invited to be at processing, but, will not take him to the airport.  We will say our goodbye's at processing.

I will put my sick, broken husband in the car and drive home.

Thus will begin a new chapter in my life.

While my heart is heavy today, it is also filled with such happiness for Jack.  So, so proud of him.

We spent several hours at father in law's house yesterday.  Mother in law and I had the most wonderful time talking.  She really is sweet.  I finally got to know her.  She told me after 16 years of marriage to father in law, all she has ever wanted was to be accepted by husband and I.  My heart went out to her.  She told me a little bit about how she met FIL, (at work), what her life was like then.  As I was looking at her, I felt such love for her.  I told her how guilty I feel, not getting to really know her, after all these years.  She looked at me and said, "We can start today."

We took pictures, laughed, shared times when Jack was a baby and toddler.  MIL made homemade salsa (was that good or what?), laughed and cried.  FIL beamed when he looked at Jack, his namesake.  He was so funny.  Every time Jack would do something or say how much he likes hot foods, FIL would say, "Oh, you got that from me."

As I looked at this family, laughing, loving, crying, I felt such love for them.  I promised both we (husband and I) would do this more often from now on.

As we drove away, FIL stood in his yard, watching us all the way down the street.  He looked so sad, yet, was so proud of his grandson.

The kids all came over and we had a blow out BBQ.  Patrick did all the cooking.  As each one of the kids left, there were tears.  Marie being the worst.

It was a beautiful day yesterday.  Jack was surrounded by so much love.

The day has come.  My emotions are all over the place.

I look at husband this morning.  He is sad.  He told me he was going to miss Jack.  He looks confused as well.  I have to tell him over and over what we are doing today and tomorrow.  He gets it, then forgets it.

This new chapter.  I won't know what to expect until I turn the page.