Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Friday, January 15, 2016


I just read an old post from 3 years ago.  Wow, memories came flooding back.  Please, someone, remind me not to do that again.

I don't know why I am posting.  No one really reads it anyways.  Good therapy for me I guess.

Husband has been gone for 6 months now.  Hospice sent me a letter, on the 6th month anniversary.  It explained how usually once you get to that 6 month mark, more reality or finality become clearer.  It says you may come to a fork in the road, and it's up to you as to which way you should go.

I can honestly say that was true for me.  I am finding myself changing and evolving.  This church I have been visiting has helped me more than anything else.  I love the message and can't wait for each Sunday to come so I can go back.

Last Sunday, I joined the Grief Share.  It starts this coming Thursday.  I pray it will help me.

I am also wanting to get out and meet people.  I find myself wanting friends now.  I find myself wanting more of a social life now.  I actually went up to strangers at church and introduced myself last week.  Me, I did that.  Changing and evolving.

I am thinking of getting a part time job as well.  Trouble is, when they see the 5 1/2 year gap on my Resume and will probably ask me what I've been doing these last 5 1/2 years, I don't know what to tell them without crying.  How do I explain that one?  Tough stuff.  Who knows, but, the desire to work is becoming more of a reality and I know God is directing me.  It would sure help the income.

Life as I knew it is gone, but, I still get up each day, I still drink my espresso, I still talk to husband, but, I'm changing.  Ever so slowly, I feel this change in me.

Like a flower that has been in the dark for so long, light is coming to this flower and it's beginning to bloom again.

Yeah, that's me.