I just read an old post from 3 years ago. Wow, memories came flooding back. Please, someone, remind me not to do that again.
I don't know why I am posting. No one really reads it anyways. Good therapy for me I guess.
Husband has been gone for 6 months now. Hospice sent me a letter, on the 6th month anniversary. It explained how usually once you get to that 6 month mark, more reality or finality become clearer. It says you may come to a fork in the road, and it's up to you as to which way you should go.
I can honestly say that was true for me. I am finding myself changing and evolving. This church I have been visiting has helped me more than anything else. I love the message and can't wait for each Sunday to come so I can go back.
Last Sunday, I joined the Grief Share. It starts this coming Thursday. I pray it will help me.
I am also wanting to get out and meet people. I find myself wanting friends now. I find myself wanting more of a social life now. I actually went up to strangers at church and introduced myself last week. Me, I did that. Changing and evolving.
I am thinking of getting a part time job as well. Trouble is, when they see the 5 1/2 year gap on my Resume and will probably ask me what I've been doing these last 5 1/2 years, I don't know what to tell them without crying. How do I explain that one? Tough stuff. Who knows, but, the desire to work is becoming more of a reality and I know God is directing me. It would sure help the income.
Life as I knew it is gone, but, I still get up each day, I still drink my espresso, I still talk to husband, but, I'm changing. Ever so slowly, I feel this change in me.
Like a flower that has been in the dark for so long, light is coming to this flower and it's beginning to bloom again.
Yeah, that's me.