Had a rather quiet day yesterday. Husband seemed OK. Confusion for sure, but, not agitated. He gets fixated on something and will not let it go. This can go on for days. His newest fixation is our Car Insurance.
For the last two weeks, he has asked me daily when am I going to pay the insurance. I have told him it is due on the 5th of each month. He seems satisfied with that answer. A few hours later, same question. Yesterday morning he asked again, I told him it has been paid.
Last night he told me that he and Jack are going to Sports Authority today. I said that was fine. Then he said, "Do you think it will be safe?" "Safe? Of course it will be safe.", I say. "Well, what about the insurance?", "The insurance? It's fine, and, you need to stop about the insurance, OK?", I tell him. By this time, I am agitated. Enough, I think.
I know he can't help it, I get it. It just gets maddening at times. Then, I beat myself up over my getting stern with him.
I am in the process of trying to convince him that it is time to sell the truck. It sits in the driveway, he doesn't drive it, I don't like to drive it and Jack nor Kristen know how to drive stick shift. It costs me money for the insurance each month as well. I eased into it yesterday morning. It's going to take some convincing, but, if I sold the truck, I could pay off a few bills, plus save me money in car insurance. He is very stubborn when it comes to the truck. It's "HIS" truck, he says. I understand it's a "man thing" to have a truck, but looking at it, all I see are dollar signs. I have some work to do on that issue.
All these decisions that are left up to me to make. He will try to argue with me on some, yet, he can't decide anything anymore. He cannot think clearly, but says he can. He can't decide what he wants for breakfast, so, I make that decision for him. I may just have to sell the truck and tell him about it. That won't be fun, but, I need to get rid of the truck. Any suggestions on how I'm to go about this one?
So many decisions, so few choices. This selling the truck is weighing on me.
Today I will clean house. Not much else going on. Every day is the same around here. I woke up frustrated today. I woke up resenting husband today. I woke up resenting what my life has become today. I woke up feeling helpless today. I hate waking up and having these feelings.
Susie is supposed to come today to trim my hair. When she comes, I will put on my "Academy Award Winning Smile" and play pretend. I'm good at that, ya know.
You have to do what you need to. Perhaps you can tell him that the truck is getting repaired. He may soon forget about it. If he was well he would probably want you to sell it. It sounds like it will help relieve some stress for you.
ReplyDeleteI think of you so often and I am so sorry that you are hurting. ((((((HUGS)))))