A secret

I had to take an very old friend to the Dr's yesterday. She is a widow and had fallen and fractured her knee cap. She had to have surgery right before Christmas to repair the knee cap. Yesterday was her check up from surgery.

The Dr's I took her to was the same medical group I went to when I was pregnant with Jack. Sitting there brought back so many memories of happier times. Before we went upstairs to the Orthopedic clinic, we had to go to X-Ray. It was also the Ultrasound area. I watched an excited couple come out, looking at pictures of their future baby. She was in the early stages of pregnancy. The dad kept looking at the pictures and smiling. They looked like they were walking two feet off the ground.

Oh, the memories of those times. How special I felt at that time. The excitement of having another baby. The wonder of it all.

At the time, husband's mother was in the final stages of this horrific disease. She passed away on February 16th. I was 3 months pregnant.

On August 15th, they admitted me for inducement. The baby was large and, I was 1 week overdue. When we got to the hospital, they took my blood pressure. It was a little high, so they shooed everyone out, had me lay on my left side, said they would be in to check it in 20 minutes. I laid there for a few minutes, willing my blood pressure to come down, when, all of a sudden, I heard this soft voice say, "Your baby looks wonderful". As she said it, she touched my big toe. I turned over and saw this beautiful woman. She had stark black hair, very pale skin and just so beautiful. As she touched my toe, I felt a small surge of electricity in my body. To this day, I can still feel that touch on my big toe.

I asked about my blood pressure, she said it was perfect. I never felt her take my blood pressure, but she was a nurse and I thought maybe I had dozed off when she had taken it.
I kept looking for that same nurse through out the day. I never saw her again.

This big baby would not budge from my womb. That night, they took me off all medication, told me to get a good nights sleep, they would try again in the morning. The next morning, they broke my water. 3 1/2 hours later, Jack entered the world. Big boy, almost 10 lbs, it went so smoothly. I felt on top of the world.

Then, it dawned on me. Jack was born 6 months to the day his grandmother passed away. A few weeks later I was thinking about that day and thought about the nurse who had touched my big toe. Who was she? She looked like a nurse, but, why did I not see her again? Out of the blue, it all made sense. I believe that was husband's mother. She was there that day, I just know it.

As we speak now, I can feel that touch. It has never gone away.

Sitting there yesterday, I thought about all of it. The pregnancy, the happiness we felt, but, also, the shadow hanging over us as we watched this disease take her life.

Jack knows all about his grandma. He knows how he was born 6 months to the day of her death. He knows it all. Every time we speak of her, he smiles a smile that I believe is known only to him and his grandma. They have a special bond. They share a secret. It comforts me to know that.