OK, garage sale is officially closed. Can check that one off my list. Glad it's over. Done, stuff gone.
Now, today, I am starting a new chapter. Today is the day I will begin to find me. I don't know who I am anymore, or where I am going. I have lost me. I also don't know where all this came from. It may be because so many memories were stirred up during our garage sale.
Going forward now, I am going to concentrate more on me. I feel at times like I could lose it at any moment. I hold things in, I am angry. I have to work on that. I am starting counseling this week. I need it.
Husband will be my #1 priority, always, but, I need to concentrate on me too. Like I say, I have lost me over the course of the last 2 years. I have to get me back.
We went to Pat & Christine's for dinner last night. Husband looked tired and drawn. He ate a good dinner and we came home shortly after.
I have to take the cane away, replacing it with the walker, just don't know how. It would make his walking so much easier. He is beginning to misplace the cane on a daily basis. I have to stop what I am doing and go find the walker. Sometimes I find it outside, leaning against a bush, the truck, garage door or laying on the ground. Sometimes it's in the bathroom. He gets agitated when this happens. The walker is the next best thing for him. Now all I have to do is convince him of that. At least it'll be easy to spot if he loses it!!
I cannot wait to see Dr A. Maybe he can convince him of using the walker. He just will not listen to me. Fights me on everything. I know it's the disease fighting me, but, it's still hard on me nevertheless. Also, the tremors are non stop now. I believe there is something stronger he can take to ward the tremors off. I have read though, that any drug will only stop the tremors to a certain point. After awhile, it won't do any good. I don't know if we're at that point or not. Dr A will be able to tell me.
So, here I am today. Facing two hurdles. Finding me and graduating to a walker for husband. I think I can find me again. Husband using a walker? Stay tuned.
You even sound better. Maybe that garage sale and decluttering (not saying that your house was cluttered) gave you some what of a freer feeling. So glad you are going to counseling. I honestly don't know how you do it. They will be able to walk you through this.
ReplyDeleteI bet once the cane is gone the walker will feel more secure to him.
((((((HUGS)))))