Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A Christmas Wish

Marching on.  Gearing up for Christmas.  Ho hum.  I'm not as into the Holidays as I thought I was going to be, but, I'm not that bad either. 

Husband continues to be in his own world.  There have been some really sad moments, but, for the most part, life (or lack thereof) is moving right along.  You can really see the damage this disease has done.

When you talk to him, his eyes do not focus on you.  He will look in your direction, but always looks slightly to the right and upward.  It's disturbing.

He has, for some crazy reason, thinks he is supposed to lay on his bed at the foot of the bed.  He will put his head on the footboard, with his neck resting on the hard metal footboard.  And, he's comfortable doing that.  He also thinks he has always slept at the end of the bed.  I will get him at the head part of the bed, leave the room, go check on him within 10 minutes, and there he is, sound asleep, at the foot of the bed.

Tish came over yesterday.  He didn't know who she was. 

He is obsessed with a catalog we have.  It's a sporting catalog, with everything from hunting knives, to guns, bows and arrows and just a bunch of miscellaneous things for camping and hunting.  He has gone through it so much, all day, every day, that most of the pages are dog eared.  He tells me it's broken. 

In fact, everything is broken.  And, he wants me to fix it all.

Most days, everything is the same.  We've gotten into a routine, with this change in him.  He is, most days, oblivious to everyone and everything around him.  When it's time to eat, I will guide him to the table.  Once the food is set in front of him, I guide his hand to his fork.  He always looks at the fork and his food as if he's seeing it for the first time.  Always acts surprised that food appeared in front of him. 

So, for the most part, the Holidays are upon us, and, it's OK.  I'm not angry, I'm not sad.  I'm not happy, I'm just here.  Taking care of husband, counting the days until this is all over with.

That is my Christmas Wish.  Just let it be over.

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