Today is my Wedding Anniversary.
I don't feel happy. I don't feel sad. A little twinge of bitterness maybe? Perhaps.
I did not remind husband of the date as he won't get it anyway.
I will go about my day as any other day. I will try not to let the bitterness creep up in my throat and have it rule my day.
It's just another day, I'll tell myself. Because, in reality, it is.
My Mother is in the final stage now. Maybe today will be the day I get the call? Will I be even more bitter next year if the call does come in?
Oh, life and it's many challenges. Ups and downs. Highs and lows.
I had an anxiety attack last night. Crazy.
Husband has been so so. Once I get him up, bathed, dressed and fed, he will shuffle to the couch and sit in a stupor. His head will fall forward and he will nod off until it's time for lunch. Once lunch is over, he will shuffle to the bedroom, and fiddle with whatever he can get his hands on.
Yesterday, he had an old greeting card. And, there he sat, for about two hours, "reading" this card from days gone by.
It's something to see. Where he can't read anymore, he can stare at something for hours. I mean, stare and you can see the concentration on his face. Actually, it's amazing to me.
So, today, I will do my laundry, make my grocery list, bathe, dress and feed husband, do dishes, change the sheets on the bed, tend to whatever and watch husband as he slips into the unknown world of Alzheimer's.
And, wait for "The Call".
So, here's to me, Happy Anniversary!!!