"Just me"

Awwh, as much as I enjoyed the Holidays this year, I am relieved to get back to more of a routine.  And, I have been posting more again.  It all feels good.

Husband woke up Saturday morning completely lost.  He didn't know where he was, who he was, and kept telling me he did not fit into our apartment.  This lasted all day long.  I kept thinking that him saying he didn't fit, maybe he was telling me he didn't fit into this world anymore. 

At one point, in the afternoon, I finally got him to sit in the living room on the couch.  He kept staring all around, trying, I think, to find something familiar.  Our dog jumped on the couch.  Husband looked at the dog and said, "Well hello little dog, what is your name?"

Unsettling.

Yesterday was OK.  Still lots of confusion, still that blank stare, but, better.

When Nurse J came this morning, I told her about his weekend.  She said she would check him over.  When she got ready to leave, she was rattled by his sudden change in behavior.

My wood man came on the first.  Boy, he stocked me up with wood.  Jace came on Saturday and split a lot of the big logs.  He does that every weekend.  Nothing better than a nice big fire, crackling wood and the warmth it gives off.  I love it.

My lease was up here, but, I decided to re-new the ease for another year.  The thought of moving makes me tired and, with husband so lost, I didn't want to further aggravate the situation by moving to a new, unfamiliar place.

We live in the southern part of the Springs.  Practically every place I go to is in the northern part.  We do however, have a big shopping center at the end of our street.  I do my main grocery shopping there, but, Costco and Trader Joe's are at the upper end of the city.

When husband is gone, I plan on moving a littler farther north.  I'll get a small, 1 bedroom.  Room enough for just me.

I think that way a lot lately.  "Just me" is what I now end a lot of my conversations with.

A little scary at times to think about it, but, on the other hand, I am ready.