Another day dawning. Quite chilly this morning. On the home front, all is stable. Of course, husband is not awake yet, so, it's quiet and comfy here, for now.
Husband was quiet yesterday. No sudden outbursts, no going to that Dark Place. Didn't like what I made for dinner but, ate it anyway. After dinner, he went to bed. Didn't go to sleep, just watched TV. Was still very quiet.
Now, that can mean anything. Most of the time, after he has gone to that Dark Place, he gets very quiet afterwards. I am learning what all these symptoms mean, what to look for. Everyday there is something new to watch out for.
Tonight, I go to my first meeting with this new support group. It's at the church. It's for people like me who are losing a spouse or have already lost one. This will be good for me. Husband said he wants to go with me. Uh, no. I told him it's a Womens' Group, no men allowed. If I told him what it's really for, he would get very upset. I have learned what to tell him and what not to tell him.
As my day begins, I don't know what it holds for me. My day always starts out quiet and calm. Everything I do depends on where husband is in this disease. Everything. If he is stable, then, great. If he is not, then, not so great. I have learned to just roll with the punches. Or, at least I am learning.
Everyday is a learning experience for me. As it should be for everyone. My learning experience is interesting. I get to learn what it's like to watch your husband lose his mind and eventually, within 18 months, die.
Yay for me.
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