Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

A very bad taste in my mouth

Here we go again.  Sorry for the lack in posts.  It's just that lately, days seem to melt into one another, and, I find myself coming here to post, with the same ole' subject.  Alzheimer's. 

Leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Husband is holding steady.  No drastic decline.  He wakes up in a confused state.  Does not know where he is, who he is, or, who I am.  He will go to the bathroom by himself, but, I have to tell him where the toilet is.  He can no longer distinguish the difference between the sink, bathtub or toilet. 

I look in on him and he is sitting there with a look that says, "Where am I?"  Once he is done, I clean him up, (if it's not bath day) and guide him back to the bedroom where I dress him.

He will come to the dining room table and I have to tell him to sit and I fix his breakfast.  While he eats, he is still in a stupor.  He does not speak, at all.  He eats, making a mess.  He takes his meds, and, I guide him to this chair in the living room where he will stare at everything, not knowing what anything is.  I turn on the TV, making a distraction for him.

He will doze off and on the entire morning.   I do breakfast dishes, make beds, straighten up around the apartment.  Take the trash out, if needed, take the dog for his potty runs, all the while, checking on husband.

By noon or so, he seems to be more aware of his surroundings and will attempt to make conversation with me.  Trying to remember words is hard on him and the spinning of his hands will begin. 

Dinnertime rolls around and he eats a good dinner.  He will go to his bed after dinner.  I turn on his lamp and his TV.  By 7 PM, it's time for more meds.  He takes that and I get him undressed and under the covers.  By 8-9 PM, he is very sleepy and I have to get the last pill to him.  Once he takes that pill (I have to give one pill and wait at least an hour for the other pill) he is usually out within 15 minutes.

It is then that I come to my chair and am left alone with my thoughts.  I run through the day.  Was it a good day?  Did he eat well?   Did I do well with him today?   I also take stock in what he has lost, if anything.  I make a mental note of his tremors.  Did they appear to be more or less today?  How many times did he wet his pants?   My, he looks thin today.  Did he lose more weight today?

Just another day in my life.  A day with Alzheimer's.  A day where nothing really happens, but, everything changes. 

Ah, yes, no wonder Alzheimer's leaves a bad taste in my mouth.


  1. I can only imagine how difficult life is for you day in & day out as you care for your husband. But it just strikes me that what you are doing for him is such an amazing kind of love. You are constantly caring for his every need, expecting & knowing he has nothing to give in return. It's what everyone vows to do when they marry, but how often do we get to see it truly play out? May God bless you so richly for your love & faithfulness to him. It's an inspiration to me.