I am so sorry for the delay. Getting over this whatever I've had has been hard. I'm also very sad. I can't pinpoint on why, just am.
Traveling with husband was hard. Because I am with him 24/7, I don't realize how far he has gone down until someone else points it out, or, when traveling, people will talk to him and he has no idea what they are saying.
After having such a wonderful time in San Antonio, I came home to stark reality. Could be where all this sadness is coming from.
I did some grocery shopping on Friday. People were shopping for their holiday dinner, laughing, filling their carts up with delicious food, listening to them plan on who was cooking what. I looked at my cart, a pitiful amount of food, with no trace of any holiday food. And it made me want to run out of the store.
Tyler is cooking us Thanksgiving dinner. He and Susie are excited to have us over in their new home, for a special dinner. I have to force myself to act excited about it all. I don't want to disappoint him or Susie.
Bear with me as I work through this.
I am frustrated also with my computer. I downloaded the pics from Jack's graduation, but, for some reason, they will not post here. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I want to share with you all, maybe Tyler knows something I don't. Frustrating!!
Here's hoping I can get through this holiday with some sort of gladness in my heart.
Husband's last camping trip
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Air Force Graduation Part 2
Am feeling a little better this morning. Not quite up there, but, feeling better. Now, Part 2.
While we were waiting for the Coin Ceremony to begin, there, in the handicap section was a couple with a handicapped child. His name was Brandon. He looked to be about 12-13 yrs old. You could tell he was severely handicapped as he was in a special stroller. His dad told me he was epileptic along with other special needs. They didn't go into it, I didn't ask. He was excited to see his big brother that day. When big brother had left for basic training, the airport allowed Brandon to go to the gate and watch his brother's plane take off.
As I watched this mother and father dote on their child, it touched my heart so. The mother would lay her cheek next to her child's cheek. Oh, you could see the love she had for her child. Every once in awhile, I would look over at husband. He would be looking around, somewhat confused as to what was going on, and, knowing all he wanted to do was see Jack. I got a lump in my throat, thinking how excited he too was, only to see his son.
Once we were reunited with Jack, we were told the Airmen had base liberty until 7 PM. We had the whole day to spend with Jack.
A few hours later, I was sitting outside one of the BX's, while Jack took his dad inside the BX. There were so many families walking with their Airmen, mother's, father's, sisters, brothers, wives and children. And who did I see? Big brother pushing Brandon's stroller. The look on big brother's face told me just how much he loved his little brother. Brandon was wide awake, looking around, with a glow. He had his big brother back. Mom and dad looked so proud of both of their boys. They were a family united. Oh, how that touched my heart. Tears ran down my face as I watched them. What love. What devotion to one another.
Now, the Jack I knew used to complain he had to throw the trash out. It meant involving him walking. Add a dose of Air Force Basic Training and the boy has been transformed. He walks everywhere now. Just about killed me off the first day. Because I didn't rent a car, I knew we would have to depend on public transportation and our shuttle guy. Also, that first day Jack was not allowed to leave the base.
We walked, and walked and walked. Finally, I sat down and said, "Ok, I have to sit down." Jack said, "Mom, come on, you see that big bridge over there?" I looked, about 3 blocks away was one of the big overpasses on the base, a big bridge. I said, "Yes, I see it." "Well, we are going to go over that." I looked at him and with a firm set of my jaw, said, "Oh no we aren't." He started laughing, saying I couldn't handle it. I agreed with him, told him wouldn't it be nice to sit awhile? So, we compromised. He took his dad to the mini-mall and I sat down and put my feet up.
What was really sweet of Jack was, once we were together, he told me he would push his dad. Told me he was giving me a break for 3 whole days. And, push he did. He was tender with his dad.
Then it was time to leave. On the shuttle the other families and I were talking about our day with our Airmen. I told them how my son walks every where now, and we all laughed at the big changes in our Airmen. We all had such a bond. It was a special moment, all these strangers from all over the country, sharing this common bond.
Back at the hotel, husband took his shower, I took a hot, hot shower, we had dinner and relaxed. Oh, my feet hurt, my back ached, but, I was happy. We went to bed at 8:30!!
Next up, the Parade on Friday morning. What a beautiful ceremony with all the Airmen dressed in the Blues.
Pictures are forthcoming, I promise. Pat has to help me, I don't want to screw it up.
While we were waiting for the Coin Ceremony to begin, there, in the handicap section was a couple with a handicapped child. His name was Brandon. He looked to be about 12-13 yrs old. You could tell he was severely handicapped as he was in a special stroller. His dad told me he was epileptic along with other special needs. They didn't go into it, I didn't ask. He was excited to see his big brother that day. When big brother had left for basic training, the airport allowed Brandon to go to the gate and watch his brother's plane take off.
As I watched this mother and father dote on their child, it touched my heart so. The mother would lay her cheek next to her child's cheek. Oh, you could see the love she had for her child. Every once in awhile, I would look over at husband. He would be looking around, somewhat confused as to what was going on, and, knowing all he wanted to do was see Jack. I got a lump in my throat, thinking how excited he too was, only to see his son.
Once we were reunited with Jack, we were told the Airmen had base liberty until 7 PM. We had the whole day to spend with Jack.
A few hours later, I was sitting outside one of the BX's, while Jack took his dad inside the BX. There were so many families walking with their Airmen, mother's, father's, sisters, brothers, wives and children. And who did I see? Big brother pushing Brandon's stroller. The look on big brother's face told me just how much he loved his little brother. Brandon was wide awake, looking around, with a glow. He had his big brother back. Mom and dad looked so proud of both of their boys. They were a family united. Oh, how that touched my heart. Tears ran down my face as I watched them. What love. What devotion to one another.
Now, the Jack I knew used to complain he had to throw the trash out. It meant involving him walking. Add a dose of Air Force Basic Training and the boy has been transformed. He walks everywhere now. Just about killed me off the first day. Because I didn't rent a car, I knew we would have to depend on public transportation and our shuttle guy. Also, that first day Jack was not allowed to leave the base.
We walked, and walked and walked. Finally, I sat down and said, "Ok, I have to sit down." Jack said, "Mom, come on, you see that big bridge over there?" I looked, about 3 blocks away was one of the big overpasses on the base, a big bridge. I said, "Yes, I see it." "Well, we are going to go over that." I looked at him and with a firm set of my jaw, said, "Oh no we aren't." He started laughing, saying I couldn't handle it. I agreed with him, told him wouldn't it be nice to sit awhile? So, we compromised. He took his dad to the mini-mall and I sat down and put my feet up.
What was really sweet of Jack was, once we were together, he told me he would push his dad. Told me he was giving me a break for 3 whole days. And, push he did. He was tender with his dad.
Then it was time to leave. On the shuttle the other families and I were talking about our day with our Airmen. I told them how my son walks every where now, and we all laughed at the big changes in our Airmen. We all had such a bond. It was a special moment, all these strangers from all over the country, sharing this common bond.
Back at the hotel, husband took his shower, I took a hot, hot shower, we had dinner and relaxed. Oh, my feet hurt, my back ached, but, I was happy. We went to bed at 8:30!!
Next up, the Parade on Friday morning. What a beautiful ceremony with all the Airmen dressed in the Blues.
Pictures are forthcoming, I promise. Pat has to help me, I don't want to screw it up.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Air Force Graduation Part 1
Sorry for the delay. I got sick Monday afternoon. Really sick. Am still in bed, hopefully I will be feeling better soon. I think I caught the travel bug. What a bug it is.
OK, we left last Wednesday morning and flew to Dallas. Before we landed in Dallas, the flight attendant was announcing connecting gates for people continuing on. She said we were going into terminal D, and our connecting gate was terminal C. A lady on the plane heard me saying to husband that I hoped I could get us there in time. This lady leaned over and told me not to worry, she would get us a driver for the handicapped who would take us to the next terminal.
This driver was hilarious. He would honk his horn and in a real southern drawl, yell out, "Comin' through, comin' through, move." Once we arrived at terminal C, I found out our plane was delayed by about 30 minutes. I had a reservation for this shuttle service to take us from the airport in San Antonio to our hotel, so, I tried calling him to let him know our plane would be delayed a little. No phone service.
Once we took off, 30 minutes late, I was worried, but, thought that if he came into the airport, he would see that our flight had been delayed.
The airline we flew on was American Airlines. They were wonderful. An attendant would wheel husband to the door of the plane, and husband would walk to his seat, with my assistance. Once we would land, that would be the first thing waiting for us at the door again.
So, this attendant in San Antonio was so neat. He was young, and wheeled us outside and stayed with us until our shuttle came.
Our shuttle driver was great, handling the wheelchair and all. He took us straight to our hotel. Our hotel was about 1/2 mile from the base. In fact, you could see the base from the hotel. I kept thinking, "Jack is right over there, somewhere."
I got us settled in our room and we had dinner delivered to us.
The next morning, we were up bright and early. Our shuttle guy arrived. There were a number of people waiting for the shuttle as well. Guess this was the hotel to stay at, with it being so close to the base. We rode the second trip in and arrived around 7 am.
Once I got familiar with the happenings, I took husband to the street where they were having the Airmen's Run. It's a traditional thing, going back many years. There were so many people lined up, but, because husband is in a wheelchair, we were able to sit up front.
Families had banners, congratulating their graduate, people wore T-shirts, with their Airmen's name on it. Of course, I didn't do any of that, I didn't even know to do that. Luckily, a lot of people around me didn't do that either.
The Airmen's Run started. They ran down this street, chanting, each squadron a different color, turned around, and ran back down. Once I figured out that the flag the head person was carrying was their actual squadron, I found Jack's, but, could not see him.
Next up was briefing. When that was over, we went out to some bleachers for the Coin Ceremony. That was really neat, as there were 3 young people who were becoming american citizens. And then, the graduates started marching in. I knew my son was somewhere, and as the announcer said each squadron, I knew which one Jack was in. Try finding your child in a sea of young men. They all looked alike to me.
I got tears in my eyes as the ceremony continued on. Then, after the handing out of the Coins and the announcer saying they were no longer Trainees, but Airmen, we were allowed to go out to find him. The Airmen had to stand at attention until a family member tapped him on the shoulder. I could not find Jack. I was getting frustrated, as they all looked so much alike. Finally, I saw two Airmen talking and asked them if they could help me locate Jack. I gave them his name, (they no longer go by their first names, I found out), and said, "Lucero? He's right over there, Ma'am."
I turned and saw my son. He was standing at attention, looking a little scared and sad. So many Airmen had been tapped, and there he was, looking so alone. I went up to him, tapped him, he turned around, his face, oh that face, just lit up. He said, voice breaking, "Mom!!"
He grabbed me and hugged me so hard, my rib cage hurt. He would not let go of me. I said, "Did you think I wasn't coming?" He said, "No, you said you were coming, but, yeah, I was getting worried waiting for you to tap me." I looked at this child of mine and saw he had tears in his eyes.
Part Two coming tomorrow. Sorry for the delay in pictures, I don't know how to get them on this blog. Am trying to figure it out.
OK, we left last Wednesday morning and flew to Dallas. Before we landed in Dallas, the flight attendant was announcing connecting gates for people continuing on. She said we were going into terminal D, and our connecting gate was terminal C. A lady on the plane heard me saying to husband that I hoped I could get us there in time. This lady leaned over and told me not to worry, she would get us a driver for the handicapped who would take us to the next terminal.
This driver was hilarious. He would honk his horn and in a real southern drawl, yell out, "Comin' through, comin' through, move." Once we arrived at terminal C, I found out our plane was delayed by about 30 minutes. I had a reservation for this shuttle service to take us from the airport in San Antonio to our hotel, so, I tried calling him to let him know our plane would be delayed a little. No phone service.
Once we took off, 30 minutes late, I was worried, but, thought that if he came into the airport, he would see that our flight had been delayed.
The airline we flew on was American Airlines. They were wonderful. An attendant would wheel husband to the door of the plane, and husband would walk to his seat, with my assistance. Once we would land, that would be the first thing waiting for us at the door again.
So, this attendant in San Antonio was so neat. He was young, and wheeled us outside and stayed with us until our shuttle came.
Our shuttle driver was great, handling the wheelchair and all. He took us straight to our hotel. Our hotel was about 1/2 mile from the base. In fact, you could see the base from the hotel. I kept thinking, "Jack is right over there, somewhere."
I got us settled in our room and we had dinner delivered to us.
The next morning, we were up bright and early. Our shuttle guy arrived. There were a number of people waiting for the shuttle as well. Guess this was the hotel to stay at, with it being so close to the base. We rode the second trip in and arrived around 7 am.
Once I got familiar with the happenings, I took husband to the street where they were having the Airmen's Run. It's a traditional thing, going back many years. There were so many people lined up, but, because husband is in a wheelchair, we were able to sit up front.
Families had banners, congratulating their graduate, people wore T-shirts, with their Airmen's name on it. Of course, I didn't do any of that, I didn't even know to do that. Luckily, a lot of people around me didn't do that either.
The Airmen's Run started. They ran down this street, chanting, each squadron a different color, turned around, and ran back down. Once I figured out that the flag the head person was carrying was their actual squadron, I found Jack's, but, could not see him.
Next up was briefing. When that was over, we went out to some bleachers for the Coin Ceremony. That was really neat, as there were 3 young people who were becoming american citizens. And then, the graduates started marching in. I knew my son was somewhere, and as the announcer said each squadron, I knew which one Jack was in. Try finding your child in a sea of young men. They all looked alike to me.
I got tears in my eyes as the ceremony continued on. Then, after the handing out of the Coins and the announcer saying they were no longer Trainees, but Airmen, we were allowed to go out to find him. The Airmen had to stand at attention until a family member tapped him on the shoulder. I could not find Jack. I was getting frustrated, as they all looked so much alike. Finally, I saw two Airmen talking and asked them if they could help me locate Jack. I gave them his name, (they no longer go by their first names, I found out), and said, "Lucero? He's right over there, Ma'am."
I turned and saw my son. He was standing at attention, looking a little scared and sad. So many Airmen had been tapped, and there he was, looking so alone. I went up to him, tapped him, he turned around, his face, oh that face, just lit up. He said, voice breaking, "Mom!!"
He grabbed me and hugged me so hard, my rib cage hurt. He would not let go of me. I said, "Did you think I wasn't coming?" He said, "No, you said you were coming, but, yeah, I was getting worried waiting for you to tap me." I looked at this child of mine and saw he had tears in his eyes.
Part Two coming tomorrow. Sorry for the delay in pictures, I don't know how to get them on this blog. Am trying to figure it out.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Tears, Pride and cancelled flights!!
To say our trip to San Antonio was wonderful would be an understatement. My son, an Airman now, made me cry. How gentle and patient he was with his dad. How he pushed husband around everywhere for 3 days, with not one complaint. The look on his face when he saw the damage that's being done to husband in the last 8 1/2 weeks. Our goodbye Saturday night was bittersweet. I cried, Jack cried. Husband was in his own world by then. Lost.
How yesterday, flying out of San Antonio with mixed feelings. How arriving in Dallas to catch our next plane to Albuquerque, only to find out our flight had been cancelled!! So, there I was, with husband, who by this time was a complete mess, stranded in Dallas for 8 hours! Oh, yes, that was fun.
We arrived home last night at 11:00 PM. Needless to say, I am exhausted, and will post pics by this afternoon.
All in all, with being stranded in Dallas, with seeing my son graduate, experiencing difficulty with husband, it was well worth it.
As tired as I am this morning, my heart is full.
How yesterday, flying out of San Antonio with mixed feelings. How arriving in Dallas to catch our next plane to Albuquerque, only to find out our flight had been cancelled!! So, there I was, with husband, who by this time was a complete mess, stranded in Dallas for 8 hours! Oh, yes, that was fun.
We arrived home last night at 11:00 PM. Needless to say, I am exhausted, and will post pics by this afternoon.
All in all, with being stranded in Dallas, with seeing my son graduate, experiencing difficulty with husband, it was well worth it.
As tired as I am this morning, my heart is full.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Hope
Not much going on. Went to church yesterday morning, came home and that was about it. Husband is OK. Confused most of the time now, but, OK. I've gotten used to him being constantly confused, so, to me, it's just the way it is nowadays.
Taking husband to FIL's house this morning. He wants to visit before we leave.
I usually call my mother every Sunday afternoon, but, she beat me to it yesterday. She was surprised that I was taking husband with me to San Antonio. I told her I had no other choice, besides, I could never leave him home and go to Jack's graduation without him. She understood, but said, "Oh, honey. That's going to be so hard on you." Uh, yeah, it will be, but, it's his son too.
I am trying to figure out how I am supposed to carry luggage and push a wheelchair at the airport. I may have to get a Sky Cab. Husband has trouble pushing himself in the wheelchair because of that bad fall he took some weeks ago. His shoulder is still not right and causes him some pain when he tries. I may place the luggage on his lap and push him.
All in all, it was not a great weekend, but, not a bad one either. I was hoping Jack would call this weekend. Hopefully he will call tonight.
I couldn't find husband last night. Scared me. I finally found him in Jack's old room, in the dark, with a flashlight, re-arranging his tools in there. That was strange. I convinced him to get back in bed, all the while he was protesting that he had to move things around. Shook me up for awhile.
Day after tomorrow we leave. Looking forward to seeing my son again. Looking forward to getting away from here.
My only hope is that husband will be OK while we are gone. I know he is looking forward to seeing Jack again too. For husband and Jack's sake, I want this trip to be a happy one, filled with good memories.
I can hope, can't I?
Taking husband to FIL's house this morning. He wants to visit before we leave.
I usually call my mother every Sunday afternoon, but, she beat me to it yesterday. She was surprised that I was taking husband with me to San Antonio. I told her I had no other choice, besides, I could never leave him home and go to Jack's graduation without him. She understood, but said, "Oh, honey. That's going to be so hard on you." Uh, yeah, it will be, but, it's his son too.
I am trying to figure out how I am supposed to carry luggage and push a wheelchair at the airport. I may have to get a Sky Cab. Husband has trouble pushing himself in the wheelchair because of that bad fall he took some weeks ago. His shoulder is still not right and causes him some pain when he tries. I may place the luggage on his lap and push him.
All in all, it was not a great weekend, but, not a bad one either. I was hoping Jack would call this weekend. Hopefully he will call tonight.
I couldn't find husband last night. Scared me. I finally found him in Jack's old room, in the dark, with a flashlight, re-arranging his tools in there. That was strange. I convinced him to get back in bed, all the while he was protesting that he had to move things around. Shook me up for awhile.
Day after tomorrow we leave. Looking forward to seeing my son again. Looking forward to getting away from here.
My only hope is that husband will be OK while we are gone. I know he is looking forward to seeing Jack again too. For husband and Jack's sake, I want this trip to be a happy one, filled with good memories.
I can hope, can't I?
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Duct tape for me?
Another quiet day yesterday. I spent the day doing my usual housework, laundry and grocery shopping. Husband sat on the couch for a long while. He never does that. He is always on the bed. He asked me several times when we are leaving for San Antonio. I had to tell him that it was Saturday and we were leaving on Wednesday. When I thought that would suffice, he then proceeded to ask me what the date was and what the date was when we were leaving.
I got our reservations for the shuttle from the airport to the hotel yesterday too. At first, this guy told me that if there were other people on the shuttle, and, because husband is in a wheelchair, we might have to wait at the airport for him to take other people to their hotels, then, come back and get us. That didn't sit too well with me, after all, I was making a reservation. Once I spoke my mind, he must have realized how stupid he sounded, then said that because I was the first one to make a reservation for Wednesday, then, we would be first for pick up and drop off. Glad you see it my way mister.
I went on Google Earth to see where our Hotel is in reference to Lackland AFB. Man, it's right down the street from us. About a mile.
I was reading the Schedule of Events for the ceremonies, and, it looks like we will have plenty of free time with Jack. Thurs and Fri, at around 1:00 PM, he will be released to spend the rest of the day with us. He will have to be back on base by 8:00 PM. Saturday is totally free with us. Sunday, we won't be able to see him as we fly back out at 11:55 AM. He leaves for Sheppard AFB on Monday, the 12th. That's where his Technical School is. I think he'll be there for 12 - 16 weeks.
Today I plan on packing some stuff. Been checking the weather there, not cold, but, not hot either. Some rain in the forecast. Of course, I opened my big mouth again and was telling husband what I was going to pack, and, of course, he started to argue with me about his clothes. When, oh when am I ever going to learn I cannot reason with someone afflicted with Alzheimer's? You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now, but, no. I agreed with whatever he said, (I don't even know what he said. I tuned him out) and will just pack the clothes and tape my big mouth shut.
That's a feat in itself.
Keeping my big mouth shut, that is!!
I got our reservations for the shuttle from the airport to the hotel yesterday too. At first, this guy told me that if there were other people on the shuttle, and, because husband is in a wheelchair, we might have to wait at the airport for him to take other people to their hotels, then, come back and get us. That didn't sit too well with me, after all, I was making a reservation. Once I spoke my mind, he must have realized how stupid he sounded, then said that because I was the first one to make a reservation for Wednesday, then, we would be first for pick up and drop off. Glad you see it my way mister.
I went on Google Earth to see where our Hotel is in reference to Lackland AFB. Man, it's right down the street from us. About a mile.
I was reading the Schedule of Events for the ceremonies, and, it looks like we will have plenty of free time with Jack. Thurs and Fri, at around 1:00 PM, he will be released to spend the rest of the day with us. He will have to be back on base by 8:00 PM. Saturday is totally free with us. Sunday, we won't be able to see him as we fly back out at 11:55 AM. He leaves for Sheppard AFB on Monday, the 12th. That's where his Technical School is. I think he'll be there for 12 - 16 weeks.
Today I plan on packing some stuff. Been checking the weather there, not cold, but, not hot either. Some rain in the forecast. Of course, I opened my big mouth again and was telling husband what I was going to pack, and, of course, he started to argue with me about his clothes. When, oh when am I ever going to learn I cannot reason with someone afflicted with Alzheimer's? You'd think I'd have learned my lesson by now, but, no. I agreed with whatever he said, (I don't even know what he said. I tuned him out) and will just pack the clothes and tape my big mouth shut.
That's a feat in itself.
Keeping my big mouth shut, that is!!
Friday, November 2, 2012
Quiet on the outside; Loud on the inside
It's been a quiet week. Reminds me of an aftermath of the storm that was last week. There has been a lot of reflecting, decisions and the reality of my situation. For the past few days, I have been going back into the past. Of the night husband and I met, of our dating, the butterflies I had when he would walk in the door, walking with my arm looped through his, our excitement of finding each other and, the plans we made together.
Fast forward to the here and now. There are no butterflies. I look at husband with pity now. The struggle he has to walk and talk. Once in awhile, I see fear in those once vibrant eyes. We don't loop our arms together anymore. He's in a wheelchair. The excitement is gone, replaced with me making life and death decisions. It wasn't supposed to be this way.
I'm not alone, only, at times, I feel so very alone. There are other people going through this awful disease too. While it doesn't make me feel any better about my situation, I'm not the only one who lives with this disease.
As they were taking husband to the hospital last week, one of the paramedics said, "My God, he's only 47." I heard that and it has echoed in my head for a week now. I think that's what separates us from a lot of other folks. Most of the men and women suffering from Alzheimer's are older. They've lived a full life.
My husband won't live to see 50. Now that's reality for you.
There is no real laughter in my house anymore. Oh, there's a laugh here and there, but, not genuine laughter. And, if there is a laugh, husband looks around trying to figure out what that sound is.
Counting the days until we leave for San Antonio. I've been checking the weather there. Seems pretty mild. Warmer than here. Wondering what kind of clothes to bring, so, I'll bring some warmer clothes and some cooler clothes.
Jack says he would like to eat Tex-Mex food. Wants to experience it. I don't know about Tex-Mex, as we are spoiled here in New Mexico with authentic Mexican food. But, for him, we'll do it. He says there are a lot of restaurants on base as well. We will play it by ear and decide on the spot.
In a nutshell, it's been a quiet week. God knows I needed it. Only, the thoughts going on in my head won't stop.
It's quite loud in there.
Fast forward to the here and now. There are no butterflies. I look at husband with pity now. The struggle he has to walk and talk. Once in awhile, I see fear in those once vibrant eyes. We don't loop our arms together anymore. He's in a wheelchair. The excitement is gone, replaced with me making life and death decisions. It wasn't supposed to be this way.
I'm not alone, only, at times, I feel so very alone. There are other people going through this awful disease too. While it doesn't make me feel any better about my situation, I'm not the only one who lives with this disease.
As they were taking husband to the hospital last week, one of the paramedics said, "My God, he's only 47." I heard that and it has echoed in my head for a week now. I think that's what separates us from a lot of other folks. Most of the men and women suffering from Alzheimer's are older. They've lived a full life.
My husband won't live to see 50. Now that's reality for you.
There is no real laughter in my house anymore. Oh, there's a laugh here and there, but, not genuine laughter. And, if there is a laugh, husband looks around trying to figure out what that sound is.
Counting the days until we leave for San Antonio. I've been checking the weather there. Seems pretty mild. Warmer than here. Wondering what kind of clothes to bring, so, I'll bring some warmer clothes and some cooler clothes.
Jack says he would like to eat Tex-Mex food. Wants to experience it. I don't know about Tex-Mex, as we are spoiled here in New Mexico with authentic Mexican food. But, for him, we'll do it. He says there are a lot of restaurants on base as well. We will play it by ear and decide on the spot.
In a nutshell, it's been a quiet week. God knows I needed it. Only, the thoughts going on in my head won't stop.
It's quite loud in there.
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