Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Friday, October 28, 2011

"You got a problem?"

I slept last night. Felt so good to wake up this morning. If husband did any jerking, I certainly didn't feel it. Woke up once, then back out I went. Still had dreams, only, they weren't bad ones. Crazy dreams last night. I needed a good nights' sleep.

Husband has this crazy thing for our trash pick up each Friday. He got up early to take the trash out. Usually, one of the kids puts it out. He wanted to do it this morning. When the truck came by, he went outside, stood on the porch and watched them do their thing. Reminded me of when my boys were little and how they would watch from the window. Husband looks forward to Friday mornings and the trash truck.

It went well yesterday at the hospital. Only, they did not forward his whole file there. So, when we got to the reception desk to check in, the girl started talking to husband. He looked at her like she was talking a foreign language. I took over, said I would sign for him. She said he had to sing. I told her I was Power of Attorney, I would sign. She just shrugged her shoulders.

Once we got in the examine room and the Orthotist came in, he too did not know that husband has this disease. He started talking to him, husband got "the look", he started fading away from reality. I took over. The Orthotist looked confused. I didn't want to say anything in front of husband, so, I said that he has motor control issues. Then, this guy had husband walk for him without his cane. As husband was trying to walk, the Orthotist glanced at me. I just nodded my head.

He then made casts of husbands legs. Showed us what these braces look like. No metal, they look kind of like boots. Pretty neat. They will go under his pants and into his shoes. Husband seems satisfied about all of this. We go back on the 9th of December to get fitted.

All in all, I was pleased. Later yesterday, I was thinking about the visit. When people try to communicate with husband they know something is wrong with him, but can't put their finger on it. It was hard getting this receptionist to understand that dealing with husband is not an option. I wanted to say to her, "Lady, he can't understand you anymore. He's sick, he's going to die, he can't remember anything, he can't talk like you and I can anymore. Leave him alone". Of course, I didn't. I just don't like having to explain things like this to people.

I really have to make up these cards for people. You just slip them this card that says, "Thank you for understanding, our loved one has Dementia". This will solve a lot of questions people have in regards to situations like yesterday.

When someone tries to communicate with husband, he will politely listen. I watch his eyes. If he doesn't understand, his eyes go blank and "the look" takes over. I think it's the brain trying to understand, but can't anymore, so it shuts down. Hence, "the look". He will nod his head, smile, seeming interested in what you have to say. Minutes later, he will ask you the same question. There are some who rear back at him, look at him like he's stupid and, either change the subject, or, repeat themselves. That's when I take over.

Some people think husband is hard of hearing now too. He's not. It's just that his brain can't compute it anymore. His TV, for instance. He has it real loud. I think he's trying to compensate for the loss by having the TV loud. He can understand it if it's loud? Makes sense to me.

It's funny how much I notice the little things. These little things that all make sense to me. Like putting a nail in the wall in the garage. No reason. Just wants to hammer. Turning his TV loud. Being afraid of going out in public and having to go to the bathroom, number two. Before we go anywhere, he will sit on the toilet for some time, hoping he will go number two. If I want to leave at a certain time, I will tell him that we need to leave 15 minutes later, giving him time to go to the bathroom. Funny how you adapt. It's just this new "normal".

As I watched him this morning, standing outside watching the trash truck, it broke my heart. He loved watching the barrel being lifted up, turned upside down and put back on the ground. One of the men glanced at him. The look on his face was something like, "hey man, you got a problem?"

Yeah, as a matter of fact, he does. You wanna make something of it?

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