Husband's last camping trip

Husband's last camping trip

Monday, March 25, 2013

Acting "normal"

Had a wonderful weekend filled with surprise family visit.

Justin & Anne surprised us Saturday.  We visited here at the apartment, then it was off to the mall, then they took all of us out to dinner at a Japanese restaurant.  I tasted things I never thought I would taste.  Loved it all. 

It felt so good to get out and act "normal".  I wanted to forget all about Alzheimer's.  I wanted to feel like I used to feel.  It worked for a few hours.  I actually laughed, and had a weird sensation.  I had felt it before, but, kept trying to put my finger on it.  Finally, I realized what it was.  It's called relaxed.  I remember that feeling, a long time ago.

Yes, it was nice.  I re-played the whole day in my head yesterday.  So, so nice. 

Oh, a funny thing happened while at the restaurant.  We were waiting for our food, the place was jammed packed.  Suddenly, I heard a loud commotion behind me.  People were yelling and banging.  I looked ready to dive under the table when my Marie said, "relax Mom, it's sort of a little thing they do when there is a special occasion".  Anne looked at me curiously and I said, "You'll have to forgive me. I don't get out much."  Oh, what a good laugh we all had.

Husband had not been doing well, so, it was nice to get him out.  He has been very confused.  Sleep has been difficult.  His wake hours have been difficult.  He's just, well, leaving us. 

As we were sitting around this big table at the restaurant, noises, laughing, talking, I looked at my husband.  There he was, completely oblivious to everything around him.  The blank look as he glanced around the table and all who were his family, nothing.  No recognition of anyone.  But me.

I shrugged it off, refusing to let it bother me.  Not then.  Let me just play pretend we are like any other normal family out for a Saturday night dinner. 

Yes, it was nice to play pretend.  I got to act normal again.

My children.  Oh, what a wonderful time this weekend.   It gives me such a warm feeling.  I will cherish this weekend for a long time.

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