5:30 this morning, sound asleep. Suddenly, I hear the beep and click of husband's scooter chair in the living room. I turned over, saw husband was not in bed. Throwing the covers off, I run into the living room to find husband riding his scooter chair. Asking him what he is doing, he looks up at me, not recognizing me and says, "I have to go home." I get him out of the scooter chair and guide him back to bed. He says he has to go to the bathroom.
As he is in the bathroom, I go to his side of the bed to straighten the covers. I wanted to get him back to bed, to sleep. I wanted to go back to sleep as well. Pulling the covers, I felt something wet. Soaking wet. Felt the sheets. Soaking wet. The mattress cover and mattress. Soaking wet. I said a bad word under my breath.
Got my side of the bed ready for him. I told him he would have to lie on my side of the bed because he had wet his side. He said he was sorry, I told him not to worry about it.
He is now sound asleep and here I am, awake. I've just about finished my espresso. Or, my first one of the day.
Good morning everyone.
Before maintenance came yesterday morning, husband told me to remind them that they needed to fix the walls. He said the walls move and he wants them fixed. I said I would. Better to agree.
I had husband outside when maintenance drove up in the golf cart. Thinking he had forgotten about the "moving walls", I was leading him into the apartment when husband stopped him and said, in a very sluggish and slurred speech, "Don't forget to put new drywall in there." Maintenance man, being maintenance man, said, "Huh?"
I took (pulled?) said maintenance man just inside the apartment and said, "Look, my husband is very sick. He has Alzheimer's and is in the late stage. He thinks the walls are moving as he hallucinates quite often. Can you please just humor him?"
The poor guy. He looked at me and said, "Oh man. I'm so sorry. Of course I'll go along with it."
While he was here, he asked me about husband. He said, "I thought you only got Alzheimer's when you were old." I gave him about a 3 minute run down on his type of Alzheimer's. Maintenance man was genuinely affected by husband.
As he walked out, he went to husband, still sitting on the porch. He bent down and said, "Sir, I've fixed your walls. You shouldn't have any more problems. If you do, call me." He looked up at me, smiled and winked. I winked back. Insert a slight chuckle on both our parts.
The rest of the day, we relaxed. He would say odd things here and there, but, for the most part, he would be locked in his own world.
And that's just what it is now. Locked into the unknown world of Alzheimer's. I don't know where he goes, but, I'd like to think it's a special place. I have to think that.
Could it be that he is seeing the "other side?" Getting glimpses now and then? When he says he "wants to go home," is it Home, as in Heaven?
Yes, I like to think that. Maybe he sees how beautiful it is on the "other side" and doesn't want to leave.
I don't want him to suffer anymore. When I think of him being gone, my knees get weak. Oh, I don't want him to die. He's my husband. We had plans, him and I.
Ah, life. Or lack thereof.