I am in a funk. It is so depressing around here with husband nowadays. It is pitiful watching him. He is so lost. I wake up each day, trying to find something good in the morning. Lately, I haven't had any good thoughts. I play a waiting game until husband wakes up, then, I do a quick survey of what he has lost during the night.
He has been in a confused stupor for over a week now. Take for instance, yesterday morning. We were discussing how well Jack is doing in summer school. All A's. A few hours later, husband said, "Gosh, Jack hasn't been out of his room all morning. Is he still sleeping? He needs to come out of his room more." Of course, he always does something like this just when I am taking a sip of a drink (no, not beer) and it takes me by surprise. I calmly told him Jack was at summer school. He asked me when did he start summer school?
Yeah, it's like that.
Father in law is picking up husband for the day today. Big sigh of relief. I need a break. It is exhausting and suffocating being around husband all day, every day.
There are days that I can go with the flow. There are also days I question if I can make it through to the end. I don't know about me sometimes.
Please bear with me as we enter a new stage in the progression of this disease. This decline has been so rapid, it's taking me some time to adjust. I may not post every day. I may be so overwhelmed, I won't be able to post anything.
I pride myself on being a realist.
Only, this realist is having trouble now facing my reality.