I woke up this morning at 5:30. Husband had woken me up. He was sitting on the side of the bed attempting to get dressed. I asked him why he was up so early. He said he did not know. I told him to go back to bed. He would not.
Now, here he sits in his chair in the living room. He is nodding off. He is very confused. He tries to talk and sounds like someone who's had way too much to drink.
He forgets he HAS to use the walker in order to walk. Leaves it all over the house. When I bring it to him, he looks at the walker as if it's the first time he's seen it.
Our friend, D, could not pick up husband's Scooter Chair yesterday. Said to give him a call this afternoon. Husband was upset that it hasn't been fixed yet. He has no concept of time anymore and, thinks that once I make that call to D, that it's magically going to be fixed on the spot. He does not understand why it's not fixed yet, even though I've only talked to D about fixing it. It's hard to explain to him that just because I've talked to D, does not mean it's fixed. He just doesn't get it anymore.
Ugh.
I was shaky yesterday. I have a long road ahead of me. And, it's only going to get worse. Today, I don't feel very brave. I don't feel very strong. I want to cry, out of sheer frustration. It's so hard watching my husband fade away. I wish I could have a healthy husband, one that works and "brings home the bacon". One that says on a Saturday morning, "I'm taking you out to dinner tonight." One that is big and strong, protecting his family. An all around husband, my partner, my soul mate.
Early Onset Alzheimer's has taken all that away. It has and will continue to destroy my husband, and all that comes in it's path, including mine.
Good job, Alzheimer's.
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